"Why is this wet microphone in the toilet? " "Karen, that's a toilet brush, not a microphone. " "Bo, they can't hear you, get it out of my face. " "It smells like poop, but you said it's a brush. " "Let me brush your hair with it. " "It's wet from piss water, you clean toilets with it. " "Just flush it!" "After flushing, in case there are leftovers. " "Throw it away now. " "My life would be better without you. " "No, I do mean it. " "What was that noise? " "Flashbang! They kidnapped my wife!" "I should call the cops. "