It's understandable to feel hurt and rejected in this situation, especially when you're emotionally and physically invested in the relationship, and your intimacy needs are not being met. It’s clear that you care about your boyfriend deeply and want to support him, but his unwillingness to see a professional and the challenges you face in the bedroom are understandably taking a toll on you.

Here are some thoughts and suggestions that may help:

1. Open Communication: You’ve already had some discussions with him, but it might be helpful to have an even more in-depth, calm conversation about how this issue is affecting you. Express that it’s not just about sex, but about your emotional connection and feeling desired. You’re not blaming him, but it's important that he understands how deeply it affects you. Let him know that his refusal to seek professional help is also contributing to your distress.
2. Understand the Root Cause: It's possible that this issue goes beyond just "too much porn" or "work stress." There could be underlying psychological factors like performance anxiety, past trauma, or deeper emotional issues that need professional attention. However, it can be hard for someone to acknowledge these things on their own, especially if they feel shame or embarrassment. Let him know you’re not judging him, but want him to be comfortable addressing these issues with a professional.
3. Consider Therapy for Both of You: If your boyfriend refuses to seek individual help, couples therapy could be a potential way to navigate this together. A therapist can help you communicate better and understand how this issue is affecting your relationship, while also providing tools to cope with the emotional toll it’s taking on you. Sometimes having a neutral third party can help break through the resistance he feels about seeking therapy.
4. Boundaries and Self-Care: It’s important that you don’t lose yourself in trying to help him. You need to take care of your emotional health as well. If you’re feeling rejected week after week, it’s okay to express how this is hurting you and set boundaries around how much you can give without seeing progress. If he truly loves you and values the relationship, he will eventually realize that he needs to make changes, both for himself and for you.
5. Explore Non-Sexual Intimacy: While it’s not a substitute for the sexual intimacy you're craving, exploring other ways of connecting intimately might help you both feel more emotionally close and supported. This might include non-sexual touch, deep conversations, shared hobbies, or ways to emotionally bond without focusing on the issue of sex itself. This can take some of the pressure off while still fostering closeness.
6. Patience and Perspective: If you feel like you're at the end of your rope, it’s okay to reassess what you're willing to tolerate long-term. You deserve to feel loved, desired, and supported in your relationship. If this issue continues to persist and your boyfriend refuses to acknowledge or address it, you might have to think about whether this is something you can live with, or if it’s affecting your long-term happiness.

You’ve already shown incredible patience and understanding, and it's admirable that you're not giving up immediately. But it’s also important to recognize that your emotional needs are valid, and you shouldn’t have to suffer alone while waiting for him to change on his own terms.

Would you be open to him seeking couples therapy or working on this issue together with professional guidance? It could help to know that both of you are taking proactive steps toward healing, and it might also give him the support he needs to tackle his issue more seriously.