It seems like your partner's reaction is a disproportionate response to a relatively small action, which makes this situation more about underlying issues than the act of eating before him. It’s not uncommon for people to have emotional reactions that stem from deeper feelings, and in this case, his anger at you for eating before him seems to have triggered a significant emotional response.

Analyzing His Reaction:

1. Overreaction: His response, calling you a “chav” and a “disappointment,” and escalating the situation, is not an appropriate or healthy way to address a minor mistake. This suggests there may be deeper frustrations or emotional issues at play. It's also concerning that, after your apology, he continued to escalate rather than address the situation calmly.
2. Disrespectful Language: The use of terms like "chav" and "disappointment" are disrespectful and hurtful. Such language can be damaging to a relationship, and it might indicate that your partner is expressing frustration with you in a way that feels personal and demeaning, rather than addressing the issue itself.
3. Underlying Tensions: This reaction could be about more than just eating before him—it might indicate underlying dissatisfaction, a lack of communication, or unmet expectations in the relationship. Sometimes, small actions trigger larger frustrations that have been building up over time.

Possible Reasons for His Reaction:

• Power Dynamics: He may have felt disrespected or like he wasn’t being treated with the consideration he expected in the moment. Perhaps in his mind, there was an unspoken expectation that you would wait for him before eating. This could be a way he seeks control or validation in small, everyday moments.
• Emotional Needs: It’s also possible that he was feeling ignored or undervalued in that moment. Sometimes, people want to feel seen and prioritized, and something like eating before him could be perceived as a lack of attention or care.
• Communication Issues: There might be communication gaps in the relationship where expectations aren’t fully discussed or understood. It’s possible he hasn’t voiced that he likes to eat at the same time and feels hurt when that expectation isn’t met.

What You Can Do:

1. Communicate: Sit down with him at a calm time and express how his reaction made you feel. Explain that while you understand the importance of waiting for one another, his language and anger were hurtful. Share how you feel about the situation and try to understand why he reacted so strongly.
2. Set Boundaries Around Respect: Make it clear that while you are open to listening to his concerns and adjusting behaviors in the future, disrespectful language and outbursts are not acceptable. Healthy relationships require mutual respect and understanding, and emotional outbursts that devalue you are unhealthy.
3. Evaluate the Bigger Picture: If this isn’t an isolated incident and you notice a pattern of his reactions being disproportionate to small issues, it might be worth considering the broader dynamics in your relationship. This could be a sign of emotional manipulation or a deeper issue, and if you feel that your emotional needs aren’t being met, it’s worth addressing those concerns.

In summary, his anger seems to be disproportionate to the situation, and his choice of words and continued escalation are concerning. It’s important to address this issue calmly, express how it made you feel, and have a conversation about mutual respect and expectations in your relationship. A healthy relationship requires communication, empathy, and respect, and it’s important for both partners to feel valued.