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My bf is super duper clingy, whenever he has to leave he never wants to and he always wants to spend so much time with me and do whatever he can to do that. He always tells me he loves me even when the topic is completely unrelated. But honestly? I’m also that clingy too. I really do love him and never expected to actually have someone that loves me like that, but I’m wondering if anyone else has this.

2 months ago
27

It sounds like you and your boyfriend have a deeply connected and affectionate relationship, which can be incredibly fulfilling. The way you describe both of you as “clingy” suggests that you're both highly attached to each other, and that’s often seen in relationships where both people are emotionally invested and enjoy spending time together. The fact that you both express love so frequently, even when it’s not directly related to the topic at hand, is a sign of how much you genuinely care for each other.

This type of attachment can manifest in a few ways, and it’s not unusual for couples to want to spend as much time together as possible. You may feel a sense of security and joy when you're with him, and he probably feels the same way about you. The "clinginess" might not necessarily be a bad thing—it could actually reflect a healthy emotional attachment if it feels mutual and is not causing distress to either party.

In fact, this type of bond is often associated with secure attachment in relationships, where both partners feel emotionally supported and comfortable expressing affection. People with secure attachment styles tend to feel comfortable being close to their partner but also can give each other space when needed. What you’re describing, however, seems to reflect a strong desire to be close and engaged all the time.

Why This Might Feel Special

  1. Unconditional Love: When someone continuously expresses love, especially in the smallest moments, it can be a comforting reminder that you're valued and cherished. The way your boyfriend says “I love you” even when it’s unrelated to the conversation might signify that he’s constantly thinking of you and wants to make sure you know how important you are to him. For many people, hearing those words frequently helps foster a sense of emotional security.
  2. Emotional Security: Feeling loved and needed in a relationship can create a sense of stability and belonging. If you've never experienced this kind of love before, it’s natural to feel overwhelmed by the intensity, but in a good way! It's reassuring and validating to have someone who always expresses love and care, especially if you’ve been longing for a relationship like this.
  3. Desire for Connection: When you both seek to spend as much time as possible together, it suggests a high level of mutual interest and emotional availability. You're both prioritizing each other’s company, which is a great sign of connection. You both seem to enjoy each other's presence, and this constant desire to be together often leads to a deeper bond.

Are Other People Like This?

Yes, plenty of couples experience this type of attachment! Every relationship has its own unique dynamic, and some people are naturally more affectionate or clingy than others. Here are a few things to keep in mind about this kind of relationship dynamic:

  1. Attachment Styles: In psychology, attachment styles describe the way people emotionally bond with others. Some people are more anxiously attached, meaning they crave constant reassurance and closeness, while others are more secure or avoidant in their relationships. What you’re describing seems to lean toward an anxious attachment in a positive, healthy way—where both of you seek constant emotional closeness, which is a pretty common dynamic when both partners have high emotional needs.
  2. Mutual Clinginess: It's important to note that you're both feeling this way, which means the dynamic is healthy in that it's reciprocated. Mutual clinginess can be a sign of two people who are in sync emotionally and genuinely enjoy each other's presence. However, if one partner were to feel overwhelmed or uncomfortable, it could cause tension. In your case, it seems like both of you are on the same page, so it’s a positive thing.
  3. Early Stages vs. Long-Term: Clinginess is sometimes more pronounced in the early stages of a relationship when everything feels new and exciting. It’s natural to want to spend as much time as possible with someone who makes you feel special and wanted. Over time, as the relationship matures, you might both naturally find a comfortable balance between closeness and independence. Some couples continue to be quite affectionate for the duration of their relationships, while others find a rhythm where they give each other more personal space.

Balancing Clinginess with Space

While it’s wonderful that you both love each other so much, balance is key in any relationship. It’s healthy to have time apart as well as time together. This doesn't mean you love each other any less, but rather that you respect each other’s personal needs and interests. Here's how you might maintain balance:

  • Personal Time: Even though you enjoy being together, giving each other some space can help you maintain your individual identities and hobbies, which will only make your time together even more special.
  • Respecting Boundaries: If you ever feel like the clinginess is becoming too much or overwhelming, being open and honest with each other about your feelings will help keep the relationship healthy. Maybe you both need some time to recharge after spending lots of time together, and that’s okay too.
  • Open Communication: Since both of you express your love frequently, it would be easy to talk about any discomfort if you start to feel overwhelmed. Communication about your needs, both for affection and for space, will help keep the relationship balanced.

Conclusion

In short, what you're experiencing is totally valid and reflects a deep, affectionate connection between you and your boyfriend. Many people have relationships like this, especially when both partners feel secure and loved. It’s important to keep nurturing this connection while also finding moments where you can both have your own space. If you're happy with the way things are and it feels mutually fulfilling, you're likely experiencing a healthy, loving dynamic. Just keep checking in with each other and communicating openly about your feelings—this will help ensure that your relationship continues to thrive.

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