Relationship challenges can be incredibly difficult, especially when family dynamics come into play. It seems like both you and your partner are in a very painful and emotionally charged situation, and it's understandable why you're feeling lost and scared. Here are a few things you can consider as you navigate this:

1. Recognize the Importance of Family Dynamics

Family conflicts, especially when it comes to cultural differences, can deeply affect relationships. The tension between your families has created a lot of emotional weight. It's not just about the individuals involved but the family values, expectations, and emotions at play.

Both you and your partner are in a tough position—on one hand, you're trying to protect and support your families, and on the other hand, you're trying to protect your relationship. Acknowledge that it's normal to feel torn.

2. Acknowledge Her Emotions

It seems that your partner is deeply hurt, not only by the actions and words of your parents but also by how she perceives you to have handled the situation. Even though you apologized, it sounds like she feels betrayed or unsupported, especially after seeing her father so upset. It's important to acknowledge that her feelings of hurt and disappointment are valid, even if you believe your intentions were good. The emotional fallout is significant for her.

You might consider expressing empathy, beyond the apology, and showing that you truly understand how painful the situation has been for her. She’s likely struggling with a deep sense of loyalty to her family, and it's hard to reconcile that with the hurt she's experiencing from both families.

3. Create a Space for Clear Communication

Since she’s insisting on ending the relationship, it’s crucial to have an open, honest conversation, ideally in person. It’s great that you asked her to visit you to discuss things. During this conversation, focus on listening more than speaking. It’s important to allow her to fully express her feelings, even if they are painful for you to hear.

When it’s your turn to speak, let her know how much you love her and how deeply you regret the way the situation has unfolded. Avoid making her feel defensive or pressured. She’s likely experiencing a lot of emotional turmoil, and the last thing you want is to intensify that pressure.

Express that you understand the gravity of the situation and that you're committed to working through it together. Also, reassure her that you are not siding with your family, but rather, you want to find a way forward that respects both of your needs.

4. Consider Counseling or Mediation

The situation between both families is clearly affecting your relationship. If both you and your partner are open to it, seeking relationship counseling or a mediator (someone neutral who can help both families communicate better) could be beneficial. Sometimes, families need an external perspective to help them see things more clearly. If your partner isn't yet willing to consider this, planting the seed for it now might help later.

5. Give Her Space If She Needs It

If after your conversation, your partner still feels like ending the relationship is the only way forward, respect her wishes, even though it's painful. This might be temporary, but if she’s in a place of emotional exhaustion, she might need some space to process everything.

You might need to step back for a bit, allowing her the emotional distance she needs to think things through, without feeling overwhelmed by your need to fix everything right away. You can let her know that you’re there for her when she's ready to talk again, and that you respect whatever decision she makes.

6. Reflect on What You Want and What’s Best for You Both

After this emotional period, it’s also important for you to reflect on the relationship and how much you’re willing to fight for it. If your partner decides to walk away, it may not necessarily mean the relationship is over forever, but it’s an important moment to assess your own emotional needs as well.

Ask yourself:

• Are you willing to stand by her, despite the family difficulties?
• Can both of you rebuild the trust and respect that’s been damaged between your families?
• Do you feel like your love is strong enough to work through these cultural and family tensions?

Ultimately, the path forward may involve compromise, but it also requires patience, deep empathy, and honest conversations. Whatever the outcome, I hope you find peace in knowing you’ve done everything you can, and that this process will help you both grow stronger—whether as a couple or individually.

Stay patient, and take things one step at a time. You’ve shown that you care deeply, and sometimes, relationships take time and healing, especially when family dynamics are involved.