It’s completely understandable to feel disheartened after experiencing two long-term relationships that ended in a way that left you questioning your worthiness of love. The feelings of being unlovable or destined for short-lived relationships can be heavy burdens to bear, especially when you have so much love to give. Let's unpack this together.

First, it's important to recognize that both of your past relationships ended for reasons that may not necessarily reflect your value or ability to be loved. Phrases like "I need to focus on me" or "I can’t balance a career and a relationship" often indicate personal struggles or priorities that are not directly related to you. Relationships can be complicated, and sometimes partners are dealing with their own issues that lead them to make difficult decisions.

Understanding Your Feelings

Feeling unlovable can stem from a variety of sources, including past experiences, self-esteem issues, or even societal pressures. It's crucial to address these feelings head-on:

• Self-Reflection: Take some time to reflect on what you want in a partner and a relationship. Journaling your thoughts and feelings can help you gain clarity.
• Seek Support: Consider talking to a therapist or counselor who can help you work through these feelings and develop a healthier self-image.

Returning to Dating

The modern dating landscape can indeed feel overwhelming. Here are some strategies to ease your way back into dating:

• Start Slowly: You don’t have to dive into dating right away. Consider starting with friendships or casual meetups to build your confidence.
• Online Dating: If you choose to explore dating apps, take your time to craft a profile that reflects your true self. Be honest about what you’re looking for.

Finding Your 'One'

Many people find their significant others in their late 20s or early 30s. Here are some common experiences shared by those who have successfully navigated this path:

• Intuition and Comfort: Many individuals report a strong sense of comfort or 'click' when they meet their partner. For example, one person mentioned feeling at home with their partner on the first date, as if they had known each other for years.
• Shared Values: Look for someone who shares your core values and life goals. This can include views on family, career ambitions, and lifestyle choices.
• Open Communication: Green flags often include the ability to communicate openly about feelings, needs, and expectations. A relationship should feel like a partnership where both individuals can express themselves freely.

Green Flags to Look For

As you start dating again, keep an eye out for the following green flags:

• Respect for Boundaries: A partner who respects your personal space and boundaries is a good sign of a healthy relationship.
• Emotional Availability: Look for someone who is willing to share their emotions and is open to discussing the relationship's dynamics.
• Support and Encouragement: A partner who encourages your personal growth and aspirations is someone who is likely to value you and your journey.

Remember, the journey to finding a lasting relationship can take time, and it’s perfectly okay to take breaks when needed. Focus on building your self-esteem and engaging in activities that bring you joy. The right person will appreciate your love and reciprocate it in a way that feels fulfilling.

Lastly, don’t hesitate to reach out to others who have had similar experiences. Community support can be incredibly beneficial as you navigate these feelings and experiences. You are not alone in this journey.