It’s understandable to feel confused and conflicted about your feelings for someone who is married, especially when they exhibit both positive and negative traits. It's crucial to take a step back and assess the situation objectively, considering the potential implications of continuing this relationship.

Understanding Your Feelings

Love can be a powerful and sometimes blinding emotion. You mentioned that you love him and believe he might be your soulmate. However, it’s important to differentiate between love and infatuation, especially in a complicated situation like this. The idea of being with someone who has such a tumultuous relationship history can lead to delusions about the possibility of “fixing” him or changing him for your own desires.

Analyzing the Pros

• Kindness and Love: While kindness and being loving are admirable traits, they can be overshadowed by his actions, particularly his infidelity and history of abuse.
• Financial Stability: His ability to provide a comfortable lifestyle may seem appealing, but it’s essential to consider whether material wealth can compensate for moral and ethical concerns.
• Motivation and Drive: These are excellent traits, but they are often negated by his destructive behaviors.
• Attraction: Physical attraction can be a strong pull, but it’s essential to look beyond surface-level qualities.

Examining the Cons

• His Marital Status: Engaging with a married man complicates not only your emotional state but also the lives of others involved, including his wife and children.
• Serial Cheating: His history of infidelity suggests a pattern of behavior that is unlikely to change. His willingness to cheat openly indicates a lack of respect for relationships.
• Domestic Violence: This is a significant red flag. Any history of violence should be taken seriously as it can indicate deeper psychological issues.
• Health Issues: His sexually transmitted disease (herpes) poses a health risk for you, which is another crucial factor to consider.
• Multiple Children: Having 12 children with 9 different women at such a young age raises concerns about his stability and ability to commit.
• Age Gap: The age difference, combined with his life experiences, could create an imbalance in the relationship dynamic.

Reflecting on Your Values

It’s essential to reflect on your values and what you want in a relationship. Ask yourself:

• Do you value honesty and integrity in a partner?
• Are you willing to be involved in a relationship that could bring pain to others?
• What does a healthy relationship look like to you?

Considering the Future

While it may be tempting to continue pursuing him, consider the impact this relationship may have on your emotional well-being. Relationships built on a foundation of deceit and disrespect can lead to heartache and disappointment. It’s important to prioritize your mental health and seek relationships that are healthy and fulfilling.

Seeking Support

Talking to friends, family, or a therapist can provide you with the support and perspective you need to make a decision. They can help you navigate your feelings and offer guidance on how to move forward.

Conclusion

Ultimately, the choice is yours, but it’s crucial to weigh the consequences carefully. Letting go may be difficult, especially if you feel a strong connection, but pursuing someone who is married and has a history of harmful behaviors could lead to more significant emotional pain in the long run. Prioritize your happiness and well-being above all else.