It’s understandable that you’re feeling a mix of emotions right now after discovering something unexpected about your girlfriend's past. Here are some steps you can take to address this situation in a constructive manner:

1. Acknowledge Your Actions

Start the conversation by acknowledging that you went through her Snapchat without permission. It’s important to take responsibility for your actions as it sets a tone of honesty and accountability. You might say:

“I want to talk to you about something that’s been weighing on my mind. First, I need to apologize for checking your Snapchat without your permission. I know that was wrong, and I shouldn’t have done it.”

2. Express Your Feelings

Once you’ve acknowledged your actions, share your feelings about what you found. Be honest but also try to remain calm and composed. You could express it like this:

“While I was looking through your Snapchat, I came across some videos that made me uncomfortable. I understand that everyone has a past, but seeing those made me feel insecure and confused about our relationship.”

3. Invite Her Perspective

After sharing your feelings, give her the opportunity to explain. This step is crucial as it allows her to share her side of the story. You might say:

“I’d really like to hear your side of things. Can you help me understand what’s going on with that guy and the videos?”

4. Discuss Boundaries and Trust

Use this conversation to discuss boundaries in your relationship. Trust is key, and this is a good opportunity to establish what both of you are comfortable with moving forward. You can say:

“I believe it’s important for us to talk about our boundaries. I want us to feel secure with each other, and I think it’s vital that we’re both on the same page about our pasts and what’s acceptable moving forward.”

5. Listen Actively

Make sure to listen to her responses without interrupting. It’s essential to create a safe space for her to express her thoughts and feelings. Show empathy and understanding, even if it’s difficult to hear.

6. Reassess Your Feelings

After the conversation, take some time to process everything. It’s normal to feel a mix of emotions—confusion, jealousy, or even betrayal. Reflect on what you want from the relationship and whether you can move past this situation together.

7. Reaffirm Your Relationship

Finally, if you both feel comfortable, reaffirm your commitment to each other. You can express this by saying:

“I care about you and want to work through this together. I believe we can strengthen our relationship if we communicate openly.”

It’s important to approach this conversation with a mindset of understanding and growth. Relationships often face challenges, and how you both handle this situation can define the strength of your bond. Good luck!