It sounds like you’ve been reflecting deeply on your relationship and how to move forward. Based on your update, here’s a breakdown of your insights and potential solutions to your situation:

1. Financial Independence:

Action Plan: On the 2nd, you plan to open an account solely in your name to start saving money for yourself. This gives you a sense of security and independence, especially if you feel financially dependent on your husband.

2. Not Feeling Obligated to Have Sex When You’re Not in the Mood:

Solution: You recognize that it’s important to set boundaries regarding intimacy. You shouldn’t feel pressured to have sex when you’re not in the mood. Communicate this boundary clearly with your husband.

Action Plan: Have a conversation with your husband about your needs and feelings when it comes to intimacy, so he understands your perspective. Encourage him to respect your boundaries.

3. Addressing Household Responsibilities:

Solution: You feel that your husband is not as involved in household tasks and responsibilities as you would like him to be, particularly when it comes to caring for your son and helping out around the house.

Action Plan: Be more direct with him about your needs when it comes to household chores and parenting. For instance, you want him to help find your son's sippy cup without resistance and take on more responsibilities like investing in a better vacuum and storage solutions.

Action Plan: Consider having a calm conversation with your husband about dividing responsibilities more equitably. Create a plan for managing household duties and parenting, and address any reluctance or resistance he may have.

4. Recognizing Your Own Needs:

Solution: You realize that you need to prioritize your own needs and express them more clearly to your husband.

Action Plan: Be more direct in sharing your feelings and needs, whether it’s about emotional support, physical affection, or practical matters like household chores. Stop tiptoeing around your feelings and learn to express them openly.

5. Accepting the Consequences:

Solution: You acknowledge that if your husband chooses to leave or if things don’t improve, you will have to accept it.

Action Plan: Accept that setting boundaries and standing up for your needs might create tension or conflict, but it's necessary for your emotional well-being. If he decides to leave, you’ll be able to move forward with confidence, knowing that you’ve advocated for yourself.

6. Emotional Disconnect and Communication:

Solution: You feel there is an emotional disconnect between you and your husband, particularly when he downplays the tension or jokes in an insensitive way.

Action Plan: Have a conversation about the emotional distance you’ve been feeling. Express that you don’t find some of his attempts to lighten the mood (e.g., the stick figure drawing) helpful, and explain what kind of emotional support you need from him right now.

By taking these steps, you’re asserting your boundaries and taking action to improve the situation, whether that leads to positive changes in your marriage or personal growth and independence. If you need further guidance on how to navigate these discussions or more specific solutions, I’m here to help.