It sounds like you're juggling a lot with school, work, and personal commitments, which can be draining, especially when you're trying to maintain a romantic relationship.

Here's how you might approach this situation:

1. Acknowledge Your Needs and Boundaries

You’re clearly putting in a lot of effort into the relationship, but it’s important to acknowledge that you have limits, too. It’s okay to take a step back and reflect on what you need, both for your own well-being and in the relationship. You don’t have to keep up the same level of affection or intensity if it’s not sustainable for you right now.

2. Focus on Self-Care and Balance

Since you're working two jobs, hitting the gym regularly, and managing your studies, it’s crucial to prioritize your mental and physical health. If you're feeling burnt out, it might be hard to give your best to the relationship. Consider scheduling some time for self-care or light activities that help you recharge. It's okay to take a break from trying to be everything to everyone and focus on yourself.

3. Communicate Openly and Honestly

You’ve already shared some of your feelings with her, which is a good first step. It’s important to continue being honest with her about where you’re at. Let her know that you’re struggling to find a balance between all your commitments and maintaining the relationship. She might be more understanding than you expect, especially if you explain that you’re not pulling away because you don’t care, but because you need to manage your energy in a healthier way.

4. Revisit Your Priorities

It seems like you’re questioning the relationship and your role in it. Take some time to reflect on what you want moving forward. Do you want this relationship to be a long-term thing, or are you unsure? Reflect on the emotional dynamic between you two. Are you both contributing equally, or does it feel like you’re doing all the work? Being clear about what you want and need from this relationship will help you navigate this uncertainty.

5. Give Space for Reflection

It’s possible that both of you need some time and space to figure out where the relationship stands. You mentioned she suggested you focus on your mental health, which might be a sign that she understands you need some breathing room. Taking a break—whether it’s a few days or a week—can give both of you clarity about how you feel and what you want from each other.

6. Consider the Pace of the Relationship

You’ve only been seriously connecting for three months, and there’s no rush to figure everything out right away. Relationships, especially when they shift from disliking each other to becoming close, can have growing pains. You don’t have to put pressure on yourself to express affection in the same way you did earlier if it doesn’t feel natural anymore. Let the relationship evolve at its own pace and see if things become more balanced over time.

Conclusion:

It’s understandable to feel conflicted when you're stretched thin with responsibilities and emotional demands. Take some time to reflect on your needs, communicate openly with her, and prioritize your well-being. Relationships require effort, but they also need balance, and it’s okay to take a step back when you need to focus on yourself. If you're unsure about the relationship, giving yourself some space to think can help you decide what feels right for you.