It’s natural to feel a surge of emotions after a breakup, especially when you deeply care about someone and are facing external pressures. Here are some points to consider as you reflect on your situation:

1. Acknowledge Your Feelings

• Your emotions are valid, and reaching out to him was an expression of vulnerability. While it might feel desperate in hindsight, it was also an honest reflection of your feelings.
• Breakups often stir confusion, and it’s okay to seek clarity. Be kind to yourself for acting out of love, even if it was in a moment of weakness.

2. Examine Your Motivations

• Reflect on why you want to get back together. Is it because you truly believe in the relationship and its future potential, or are you acting out of fear of loss or loneliness?
• Consider whether you’re willing to confront the challenges ahead, including your family’s expectations and the potential for a long-distance relationship.

3. Respect His Hesitation

• His initial hesitation suggests he may have concerns about whether the relationship can work long-term. Giving him (and yourself) time to reflect is a mature approach.
• Avoid pressuring him for immediate clarity. Let him process his feelings without a strict deadline, if possible.

4. Consider External Pressures

• Your family’s traditional values and expectations are a significant factor in this situation. Reflect on whether you’re ready to navigate those challenges and advocate for the relationship if it progresses.
• If you feel unsure about confronting your family, ask yourself if this hesitation will resurface later and create tension between you and your partner.

5. Evaluate Compatibility

• Relationships thrive on shared values and aligned goals. Do you and your ex have similar long-term visions, or are cultural and family expectations likely to remain a barrier?
• If either of you feels uncertain about the future, it’s important to address these concerns openly rather than brushing them aside.

6. Take Time for Yourself

• Breakups are opportunities for self-discovery and growth. Use this time to evaluate your own priorities, values, and readiness for commitment.
• Ask yourself whether you’re seeking to fill a void or if you genuinely believe in the strength of the relationship.

7. Communicate with Intention

• When you have your next discussion, approach it calmly and honestly. Share your feelings, but also listen to his perspective and concerns without judgment.
• Focus on finding mutual clarity rather than forcing a decision out of fear or pressure.

8. Plan for the Future

• If you do get back together, think about how you’ll address challenges like family acceptance, potential long-distance dynamics, and marriage expectations.
• Be realistic about whether you both have the tools and commitment to navigate these hurdles together.

In Summary:

Your actions weren’t "desperate"—they were an attempt to process your emotions and reconnect with someone you care about. However, it’s important to use this time to reflect on whether the relationship can meet both your needs and his, especially given the external challenges. Take things one step at a time, prioritize open and honest communication, and focus on making a decision that aligns with your values and long-term happiness.