You’re navigating a toxic relationship, betrayal, and the weight of an unplanned pregnancy—all at the same time. It’s a lot to process, and you don’t have to go through it alone.

Here are some steps and perspectives to consider as you move forward:

1. Focus on Yourself and Your Well-being

• Emotional Support: You’ve been through a lot emotionally. It’s okay to feel angry, heartbroken, or confused. Consider reaching out to a therapist or counselor who can provide a safe space for you to unpack these feelings and build a plan for the future.
• Physical Health: Pregnancy is physically demanding. Make sure you’re attending prenatal appointments, eating well, and taking care of your body. Your health is critical—for both you and your baby.

2. Decide How to Handle the Pregnancy

• Take some time to think about what you want for yourself and your baby. This decision is deeply personal and should be based on your values, circumstances, and vision for your future.
• If you’re unsure, consider speaking with a counselor, a trusted friend or family member, or a pregnancy support organization to explore your options.

3. Evaluate the Role of the Father

• Disclosure: Decide if and when you want to inform him about the pregnancy. While he has a right to know, this is your decision to make, and you should do it in a way that prioritizes your safety and emotional well-being.
• Boundaries: If you choose to inform him, set clear boundaries about his involvement. Given his history of dishonesty and infidelity, consider what level of contact or co-parenting relationship feels healthy for you.

4. Recognize the Toxic Patterns

• The repeated cheating, lingering attachment to his ex, and broken promises are clear indicators of a toxic dynamic. Even though he claimed to have changed and made efforts, his actions show a lack of respect for your boundaries and trust.
• Remind yourself that his behavior is not a reflection of your worth. You deserve a partner who is loyal, honest, and emotionally available.

5. Plan for the Future

• Practical Support: Begin thinking about your support system. Can you rely on family, friends, or community resources to help you through this transition?
• Co-Parenting or Independence: If you decide to involve the father, consider how you’d want to navigate co-parenting. If not, think about how to establish independence and ensure your child has a stable and loving environment.

6. Address the Emotional Pain

• It’s normal to grieve not only the relationship but also the future you had envisioned with him. Allow yourself to process these feelings without judgment.
• Journaling, therapy, or leaning on supportive loved ones can help you work through the heartbreak and confusion.

7. Surround Yourself with Support

You don’t have to navigate this alone. Reach out to trusted friends, family members, or local support groups. Letting others help can ease some of the burden you’re carrying.

8. Consider Legal and Financial Aspects

If you decide to inform him about the pregnancy, it may be worth discussing his legal and financial responsibilities as a parent. Consulting a lawyer can help you understand your rights and options, especially if you foresee challenges in establishing healthy co-parenting boundaries.

Moving Forward

You’re at a crossroads, and it’s okay to feel unsure about what to do next. The most important thing is to prioritize your well-being and make decisions that align with your values and needs. You’ve already shown strength by recognizing the toxicity in the relationship and seeking help. With time, support, and thoughtful planning, you can create a positive future for yourself and your baby.

Would you like more guidance on any of these steps, or is there something specific you’d like to focus on?