Your feelings of disappointment, betrayal, and frustration are completely valid, especially given your past experiences with infidelity. You’ve been placed in a situation you didn’t ask for, and it’s understandable that you feel hurt and disillusioned.

Here are a few thoughts on how to process and move forward:

1. Acknowledge Your Feelings

It’s okay to feel angry, sad, or even conflicted. Allow yourself to process these emotions without judgment. Journaling or talking to a trusted friend can help you untangle the mix of feelings.

2. Reflect on the Relationship

While it’s painful to learn that she’s married, it’s important to remember that her actions are not a reflection of your worth. You showed up authentically and were ready for a meaningful connection. That says a lot about your character.

3. Establish Boundaries

If she attempts to continue the relationship despite being married, it’s important to set clear boundaries. For example:

“I can’t be involved with someone who’s in another relationship. It’s not fair to me or anyone else involved.”

This allows you to prioritize your values and emotional well-being.

4. Recognize It’s Not Your Responsibility

Her decision to step outside her marriage is her choice and her responsibility. You are not at fault for being drawn into this situation unknowingly.

5. Focus on What You Want

This experience, while hurtful, reinforces the type of relationship you’re looking for—one built on trust, transparency, and mutual respect. Use this clarity to guide your future connections.

6. Give Yourself Time

It’s disheartening to feel like you’ve hit a dead end when you were hopeful about the relationship. However, giving yourself space to heal and recalibrate will help you stay open to the possibility of finding a genuine and available partner in the future.

7. Find Strength in Your Integrity

Walking away from a relationship that doesn’t align with your values takes strength. You’ve already been through the pain of infidelity, and your decision to uphold your standards speaks to your resilience.

This experience may feel like a setback, but it’s also an opportunity to reaffirm your boundaries and protect your emotional well-being. If you’d like, I can help you think through what you’d want to say to her or how to navigate your feelings further.