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I'm an 18-year-old woman, and I recently started dating a 19-year-old guy I met online. We really clicked right away, but I'm feeling nervous about telling my parents. They tend to be quite protective and have a more traditional viewpoint, especially when it comes to meeting people online. I know they might be suspicious or worried about our relationship, especially since they don't know much about him other than his name, which I've mentioned casually before. I’m considering talking to my mom first, as I think it might be easier to approach her one-on-one. I can just imagine them worrying that he might be taking advantage of me, especially since he’s in the Navy. I want to find the right way to share this with them, but I’m unsure how to start the conversation. Any advice on how to approach this?

2 months ago
7

It's great that you want to share this part of your life with your parents! Here’s a step-by-step guide on how to approach the conversation about your boyfriend, keeping in mind their protective nature and traditional views.

1. Prepare for the Conversation

  • Gather Information: Before you talk to your parents, ensure you know important details about your boyfriend that you can share with them. This includes his interests, values, and what you appreciate about him.
  • Anticipate Their Concerns: Think about the specific concerns your parents might have, especially regarding safety and the online aspect of your relationship. Prepare to address these points calmly.

2. Choose the Right Time and Place

  • Timing: Look for a moment when your parents are relaxed and open to conversation. Avoid times when they are busy or stressed.
  • Setting: A comfortable and private setting can help ease the conversation. Perhaps during a family dinner or a casual evening at home.

3. Start with Your Mom

Since you plan to talk to your mom first, consider starting the conversation like this:

"Mom, can we talk about something important to me? I’ve been seeing someone who I really like, and I’d love to share more about him with you."

This approach opens the floor for discussion and shows that you value her opinion.

4. Share About Your Boyfriend

Once you have her attention, give her some background about your boyfriend:

  • How You Met: Explain how you met online and emphasize that you’ve built a strong connection.
  • His Background: Share positive aspects about him being in the Navy, such as his dedication and discipline.
  • Common Interests: Talk about what you both enjoy doing together, such as hobbies or shared values, to show that it’s a meaningful relationship.

5. Address Their Concerns

Be ready to listen to their concerns. If they worry about online dating, you might say:

"I understand why you might be concerned about meeting someone online. I assure you that I've taken precautions to ensure my safety, like video chatting and talking regularly."

Offer to introduce him to them soon, perhaps through a video call, to help ease their worries.

6. Be Patient and Open

After you share your news, give your parents time to process the information. Encourage them to ask questions and express their feelings. It’s okay if they don’t react positively right away. You can say:

"I appreciate you listening to me, and I understand this might take some time for you to get used to."

7. Plan for a Follow-Up

After the initial conversation, keep the lines of communication open. If they seem more accepting, suggest a follow-up where they can get to know him better.

Conclusion

Remember, the goal is to communicate honestly while also being understanding of their concerns. With time and open dialogue, they may come to accept your relationship. Good luck!

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