I (22M) Don’t Feel Like My Girlfriend (22F) Finds Me Attractive—What Should I Do? My girlfriend and I have been together for almost 5 years now, and we have a serious relationship. We’ve talked about our future, possibly getting engaged, and all the typical milestones. However, over the past couple of months, I’ve noticed a shift in our physical intimacy, and it’s really been bothering me. Sexual attraction is an important part of our relationship for me, and recently, I feel like she’s not as interested in being sexually active as she once was. I’ve tried bringing it up a few times, but nothing seems to change. While I generally consider myself a secure guy, this has started to affect how I feel about myself. When she doesn’t seem interested in kissing or being physical with me, I start to feel like I’m “ugly” or not attractive. I know it sounds silly because I don’t usually care what others think about my appearance, but when it comes to her, I care deeply. She’s the person I’m closest to, and her opinion matters more than anyone else’s. I consider myself above average in looks, and I try to take care of myself, so when she doesn't seem interested in initiating anything physical, it really hurts. I feel like I’m not able to turn her on in the same way she does for me. Here’s what frustrates me the most: whenever she initiates intimacy, I’m all in, and I’m ready. But when I try to make the first move, she rejects me almost 90% of the time. It feels unfair that when she takes the lead, I get in the mood easily, but when I try, I feel shut down. I just want to feel wanted and desired by her again, and I’m struggling with how to handle this. I’ve brought it up a few times already, but nothing changes. What should I do?

No products in cart

Ai Content Generator

Ai Picture

Tell Your Story

Prosper Dream

I (22M) Don’t Feel Like My Girlfriend (22F) Finds Me Attractive—What Should I Do? My girlfriend and I have been together for almost 5 years now, and we have a serious relationship. We’ve talked about our future, possibly getting engaged, and all the typical milestones. However, over the past couple of months, I’ve noticed a shift in our physical intimacy, and it’s really been bothering me. Sexual attraction is an important part of our relationship for me, and recently, I feel like she’s not as interested in being sexually active as she once was. I’ve tried bringing it up a few times, but nothing seems to change. While I generally consider myself a secure guy, this has started to affect how I feel about myself. When she doesn’t seem interested in kissing or being physical with me, I start to feel like I’m “ugly” or not attractive. I know it sounds silly because I don’t usually care what others think about my appearance, but when it comes to her, I care deeply. She’s the person I’m closest to, and her opinion matters more than anyone else’s. I consider myself above average in looks, and I try to take care of myself, so when she doesn't seem interested in initiating anything physical, it really hurts. I feel like I’m not able to turn her on in the same way she does for me. Here’s what frustrates me the most: whenever she initiates intimacy, I’m all in, and I’m ready. But when I try to make the first move, she rejects me almost 90% of the time. It feels unfair that when she takes the lead, I get in the mood easily, but when I try, I feel shut down. I just want to feel wanted and desired by her again, and I’m struggling with how to handle this. I’ve brought it up a few times already, but nothing changes. What should I do?

2 months ago

It sounds like you're experiencing a challenging situation in your relationship, and it's completely understandable to feel confused and hurt by the changes in your girlfriend's sexual interest. Here are some thoughts and suggestions to help you navigate this sensitive issue:

1. Open Communication

Maintaining open and honest communication is crucial in any relationship, especially regarding intimacy. Since you've already talked to her a couple of times, consider having another conversation but frame it differently. Instead of focusing on the lack of sexual activity, express your feelings more deeply. You might say something like:

"I've been feeling insecure about our physical connection lately, and I want to understand if there are any underlying reasons for the change. I care about you and our relationship, and it's important for me to feel close to you."

2. Understand Her Perspective

It's important to recognize that your girlfriend may be going through her own feelings and experiences that could affect her libido. Factors such as stress, hormonal changes, or even emotional issues might play a role in her decreased interest in sex. Encourage her to share her thoughts and feelings without putting pressure on her. You can ask:

"Is there anything on your mind that's affecting how you feel about intimacy? I want to support you."

3. Reassess Intimacy Beyond Sex

Sexual attraction can often be influenced by other forms of intimacy. Focus on deepening your emotional connection by spending quality time together, engaging in physical touch that isn't sexual (like cuddling or holding hands), and exploring new activities as a couple. This can sometimes reignite the spark. For example:

Plan a Date Night: Revisit some of the activities you both enjoyed at the beginning of your relationship.
Try New Things Together: Experiment with hobbies or interests that could bring you closer.

4. Address Your Insecurities

Feeling "ugly" or unattractive can stem from various sources, including comparison or a lack of validation. It's vital to work on self-acceptance and recognize your worth beyond physical attraction. Here are some strategies:

Positive Affirmations: Practice affirming your qualities that make you unique and attractive.
Seek Support: Consider talking to friends or a therapist about your feelings to gain perspective.

5. Explore Professional Help

If the situation does not improve, or if both of you are struggling to communicate effectively, consider couples therapy. A professional can provide a safe space for both of you to express your feelings and help navigate the complexities of your relationship.

Conclusion

Relationships can go through phases, and it's essential to be patient and understanding with each other. By fostering open communication, exploring deeper intimacy, and addressing any insecurities, you can work towards rebuilding the sexual connection you both desire. Remember, it's a journey that requires effort from both partners.

Ultimately, the goal is to create a relationship where both of you feel fulfilled and connected. Good luck!

User Comments

There are no more blogs to show

Home Shop Groups