It sounds like you are going through an incredibly challenging and emotional situation. First and foremost, it's important to recognize that your feelings are valid, and your priority should be the well-being of both you and your child.

When someone threatens to take a child away, even in a moment of anger while intoxicated, it can be deeply unsettling. Such statements can indicate underlying issues that need to be addressed. While your fiancé may not express these sentiments when sober, the fact that they were said at all is concerning. This behavior can be a sign of emotional instability, especially if he has been dealing with grief and anger.

Here are some considerations that might help you navigate this situation:

1. **Assess the Relationship**

It’s crucial to evaluate the overall dynamics of your relationship. Ask yourself:

• Is this behavior a pattern, even if it occurs only when he drinks?
• Do you feel safe in your relationship, both emotionally and physically?
• How does he typically respond to conflicts when sober?

2. **Seek Professional Help**

As you mentioned, therapy can be a beneficial step for both of you. Here are a few options:

• Individual Therapy: This will allow both you and your fiancé to explore personal issues separately, which can be very helpful in understanding the root causes of anger and grief.
• Couples Therapy: Once individual issues are addressed, couples therapy can help improve communication and resolve conflicts.

3. **Consider a Trial Separation**

A separation can provide the space needed for both of you to reflect on the relationship without the immediate pressures of cohabitation. It can also serve as a protective measure for your child while you both work on your issues. Here’s what to keep in mind:

• Establish Boundaries: Make clear what the terms of the separation will be, especially regarding co-parenting and communication.
• Focus on Stability for Your Child: Ensure that your child feels secure and loved during this time. Children can sense tension, so maintaining a stable environment is key.

4. **Document Incidents**

If you feel that your fiancé's behavior could escalate or that you might need legal support in the future, it can be helpful to keep a record of incidents. Note the date, what was said, and the context. This documentation could be important if you ever need to discuss custody or safety issues.

5. **Reach Out for Support**

Don’t hesitate to lean on friends, family, or support groups during this time. Having a supportive network can provide you with emotional strength and practical advice.

Ultimately, you deserve to feel safe and respected in your relationship, and your child deserves a stable and loving environment. Taking these steps can help you make informed decisions about your future. Remember, prioritizing your mental health and well-being is not only beneficial for you but also sets a positive example for your child.

As you navigate this journey, trust your instincts. You know your situation best, and seeking a healthier, happier life for yourself and your child is always the right choice.