Navigating the balance between respecting your husband’s role and maintaining your own sense of autonomy can be challenging, especially when you're striving to honor the concept of submission within marriage. It’s important to remember that submission in a marriage is not about total control or making every decision together—it’s about mutual respect, understanding, and compromise.

Here are a few thoughts on your situation and how you might approach it:

1. Understanding the Need for Consultation

It sounds like your husband has a strong desire to be included in decisions, no matter how small they may seem to you. For some people, feeling consulted is about respect and partnership. For him, it might not necessarily be about control but about making sure you're on the same page and that decisions are made together. However, it’s also important to recognize that some decisions don’t necessarily require a joint consultation if they are minor and don’t directly affect him.

2. Setting Boundaries for What Needs Consultation

You could have an open conversation with him about what types of decisions he feels require consultation and what types feel like overreach to you. For example, setting a clear understanding of when you’re making decisions on your own, like small household items or conversations with your family, versus when you should involve him, such as larger family plans or vacations. These boundaries can help both of you understand each other’s expectations.

3. Communicate the Importance of Your Independence

It’s completely okay for you to express that while you want to honor him, there are moments when you also need to make decisions independently. Let him know that you don’t mean to disrespect him or dismiss his input, but certain things feel within your personal scope to handle. You can clarify that making small decisions without consulting him is not about disregarding him, but maintaining a sense of personal agency.

4. Mutual Respect and Trust

Wifely submission, in a biblical sense, doesn’t mean submitting to every decision or demand but rather honoring your husband’s leadership within the marriage. Healthy submission means trust, love, and respect go both ways. It’s about balance, where your opinions, feelings, and decisions are also valued. It’s important to have a discussion with him about what mutual respect looks like to both of you and how that applies to everyday life.

5. Open Communication

Lastly, talking about these things openly is key. Share your feelings with him in a non-confrontational way—make sure he understands how it feels for you when he expresses dissatisfaction with small decisions. You could frame it as a conversation about wanting to better understand his needs while also expressing your own. By discussing things openly, you’ll be able to find a way forward that honors both his need for consultation and your desire for independence.

Summary: It sounds like your husband values being involved in decisions, but some of the things you're experiencing may feel a bit controlling from your perspective. It's important to have open conversations about what decisions need mutual input and which ones don’t. Finding a balance between honoring his feelings and maintaining your own autonomy is key. Be clear about setting boundaries while also showing that you care about his role in the marriage. Ultimately, a healthy marriage thrives on mutual respect, communication, and compromise.