Here’s a rewritten version of your story: I (33F) am feeling completely lost and devastated right now, and I’m reaching out for some advice or just to hear from others who might have experienced something similar. I’ve been married to my husband (31M) for less than a year. We’ve been in a long-distance relationship, living about 7 hours apart. For the most part, things seemed okay, but recently everything has fallen apart. On New Year’s Eve, he told me he had to cover a shift for a colleague because several staff members were out sick. He said he’d be working that night. However, when I tried to check his location, I noticed that his iPhone was showing as turned off. When I asked him about it, he quickly made an excuse, saying it was probably an internet issue. A couple of hours later, I checked his iPad’s location, and to my shock, it showed he was two hours away from home in a place completely different from where he said he’d be. I confronted him about it, but he claimed he was planning a surprise visit to see me. I didn’t fully believe him, but I tried to stay calm and not make a scene. When he finally arrived around 2 AM, I held back my emotions. I didn’t want to start an argument, so I waited until later to address it. Once he was settled in, I checked his phone while he wasn’t around. What I found absolutely crushed me. There were explicit photos of other women and messages where he was arranging to meet up with them. He had even planned to meet with one of them, claiming his car had broken down as an excuse for not going through with their plans. It turned out he had even booked an Airbnb for them, and the booking fees went to waste because he never showed up. I confronted him again, but this time, I didn’t tell him that I had seen his phone. Instead, I directly asked him where he was actually planning to go, hoping he would finally come clean. He didn’t. Instead, he turned the situation around on me, scolding me for not trusting him and making me feel like I was the one in the wrong for questioning him. I felt completely betrayed, heartbroken, and gaslighted. Not only had he lied to me, but he had also been making plans with other women while I trusted him and believed he was working. The more I tried to ask questions, the more he made me feel guilty, like I was being unreasonable for wanting answers. Now, I’m left feeling lost, hurt, and unsure of what to do next. I still love him deeply, but I don’t know if I can ever trust him again. I don’t want to leave him, but I’m starting to realize that everything feels broken. I’ve been thinking about how to approach him again, but I’m scared that nothing will change and I’ll end up stuck in this toxic cycle. I feel so alone in this, and I don’t know how to move forward.

No products in cart

Ai Content Generator

Ai Picture

Tell Your Story

Esta Laurenz

Here’s a rewritten version of your story: I (33F) am feeling completely lost and devastated right now, and I’m reaching out for some advice or just to hear from others who might have experienced something similar. I’ve been married to my husband (31M) for less than a year. We’ve been in a long-distance relationship, living about 7 hours apart. For the most part, things seemed okay, but recently everything has fallen apart. On New Year’s Eve, he told me he had to cover a shift for a colleague because several staff members were out sick. He said he’d be working that night. However, when I tried to check his location, I noticed that his iPhone was showing as turned off. When I asked him about it, he quickly made an excuse, saying it was probably an internet issue. A couple of hours later, I checked his iPad’s location, and to my shock, it showed he was two hours away from home in a place completely different from where he said he’d be. I confronted him about it, but he claimed he was planning a surprise visit to see me. I didn’t fully believe him, but I tried to stay calm and not make a scene. When he finally arrived around 2 AM, I held back my emotions. I didn’t want to start an argument, so I waited until later to address it. Once he was settled in, I checked his phone while he wasn’t around. What I found absolutely crushed me. There were explicit photos of other women and messages where he was arranging to meet up with them. He had even planned to meet with one of them, claiming his car had broken down as an excuse for not going through with their plans. It turned out he had even booked an Airbnb for them, and the booking fees went to waste because he never showed up. I confronted him again, but this time, I didn’t tell him that I had seen his phone. Instead, I directly asked him where he was actually planning to go, hoping he would finally come clean. He didn’t. Instead, he turned the situation around on me, scolding me for not trusting him and making me feel like I was the one in the wrong for questioning him. I felt completely betrayed, heartbroken, and gaslighted. Not only had he lied to me, but he had also been making plans with other women while I trusted him and believed he was working. The more I tried to ask questions, the more he made me feel guilty, like I was being unreasonable for wanting answers. Now, I’m left feeling lost, hurt, and unsure of what to do next. I still love him deeply, but I don’t know if I can ever trust him again. I don’t want to leave him, but I’m starting to realize that everything feels broken. I’ve been thinking about how to approach him again, but I’m scared that nothing will change and I’ll end up stuck in this toxic cycle. I feel so alone in this, and I don’t know how to move forward.

2 months ago

496

It’s completely understandable to feel lost and devastated after experiencing such a profound betrayal, especially in the early stages of your marriage. Trust is the foundation of any relationship, and it can be incredibly painful when that trust is broken. Here are some steps and considerations that might help you navigate this difficult situation:

1. Acknowledge Your Feelings

First and foremost, it’s important to acknowledge and validate your feelings. It’s normal to feel hurt, angry, confused, and betrayed. Allow yourself to experience these emotions rather than suppressing them. Journaling your feelings or talking to a trusted friend can be beneficial.

2. Seek Professional Help

Consider speaking with a therapist or counselor who specializes in relationship issues. They can provide you with a safe space to express your feelings and help you process what has happened. Therapy can also equip you with tools to communicate effectively with your husband.

3. Open the Lines of Communication

When you feel ready, have a calm and honest conversation with your husband. Choose a time when you both can talk without distractions. Use “I” statements to express how his actions made you feel. For example, you might say, “I felt deeply hurt and betrayed when I found out you were lying to me.” This approach can reduce defensiveness and encourage more open dialogue.

4. Assess His Response

Pay attention to how he responds to your feelings. Is he remorseful? Is he willing to take responsibility for his actions? A genuine apology is a crucial step toward rebuilding trust. If he deflects blame or continues to gaslight you, it may indicate a deeper issue.

5. Establish Boundaries

Setting clear boundaries is essential for your emotional safety. Let him know what you need from him to begin rebuilding trust. This might include transparency about his whereabouts, open access to his phone, or regular check-ins. Boundaries should be mutually agreed upon and respected.

6. Take Your Time

Rebuilding trust takes time, and it’s important to be patient with yourself and with him. Don’t rush into decisions about your future together. Allow yourself the space to contemplate whether you can forgive him and if you see a path forward in the relationship.

7. Evaluate the Relationship

Consider the overall health of your relationship. Reflect on whether this betrayal is a one-time event or part of a pattern of behavior. Assess whether the positive aspects of your marriage outweigh the negative ones. You might ask yourself questions like:

Do I feel valued and respected in this relationship?
Is he willing to work on his issues and support my healing process?
Can I envision a future where I feel safe and secure with him?

8. Consider Support Groups

Joining a support group for individuals who have experienced betrayal can provide a sense of community and understanding. Hearing from others who have been through similar situations can help you feel less alone.

9. Focus on Self-Care

Prioritize your well-being during this challenging time. Engage in activities that bring you joy and relaxation, whether it’s exercising, spending time with friends, or pursuing hobbies. Self-care is crucial for maintaining your mental health.

10. Make a Decision

Ultimately, you will need to decide what is best for you. Whether that means working on your marriage or considering separation, trust your instincts. Remember that you deserve to be in a relationship where you feel loved, respected, and secure.

Every relationship has its challenges, and healing from betrayal is a process. Surround yourself with supportive people, and take the time you need to make the best decision for your future.

User Comments

There are no more blogs to show

Home Shop Groups