It's completely understandable to feel overwhelmed in your current living situation, especially when it involves multiple people and a lack of personal space. Here are some suggestions on how to navigate this delicate situation while standing your ground:

1. Reflect on Your Needs

Before addressing the situation with your boyfriend, take some time to reflect on what you truly need. Consider writing down your thoughts and feelings regarding:

• Your need for independence.
• How living with others affects your mental well-being.
• Specific activities you miss doing alone, like cooking or cleaning for yourself.

2. Choose the Right Time to Talk

Timing is crucial. Choose a moment when both you and your boyfriend are calm and not preoccupied with other stresses. This will help facilitate a more productive conversation.

3. Communicate Clearly and Honestly

When you talk to him, use "I" statements to express how you feel without placing blame. For example:

• Instead of: "You don’t understand how hard this is for me."
• Try: "I feel drained and uncomfortable living in a crowded space, and I miss having my independence."

This approach can help him understand your perspective without feeling attacked.

4. Set Boundaries Respectfully

Clearly express your desire to maintain your own space. You might say:

"I’ve realized that I need to have my own space to feel comfortable and happy. I think it would be best for both of us if I continue to live in my place and spend time together when we can."

5. Reassure Him of Your Commitment

It's important to reassure your boyfriend that your desire for independence does not equate to a lack of commitment. You might say:

"I love you and value our relationship. Living separately doesn’t mean I want to end things; it’s about creating a healthy balance for both of us."

6. Be Prepared for His Reaction

His initial reaction may be negative, as he may feel hurt or rejected. Give him time to process what you’ve shared. Be ready to listen to his feelings and concerns, but remain firm in your decision.

7. Discuss Practical Arrangements

If he is open to the idea, you can discuss how to make your separate living situation work. This could involve:

• Setting specific days to spend together.
• Finding ways to share responsibilities when you are at his house.
• Discussing how you can maintain a strong emotional connection despite living apart.

8. Seek Support if Needed

If the conversation becomes too difficult, consider seeking support from friends, family, or even a therapist. They can offer guidance and help you articulate your feelings better.

9. Know That It’s Okay to Prioritize Yourself

Ultimately, it’s important to prioritize your own well-being. Living in a situation that makes you uncomfortable is not sustainable. If it comes to a point where you feel that moving back is necessary, remember that it’s not unreasonable to do what you need for your mental health.

Conclusion

Setting boundaries in relationships can be challenging, but it’s essential for maintaining your sense of self and happiness. By approaching the conversation with empathy and clarity, you can express your needs while still being considerate of your boyfriend's feelings.

Remember, it's okay to prioritize your own comfort and independence in a relationship. Good luck!