Giana Jude

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I’m a 28-year-old woman, and my husband is also 28. We’ve been married for two years, and ever since I got pregnant, I’ve felt like I’m stuck in this situation. He would pressure me into intimacy even when I was pregnant and just a few weeks post-C-section. We didn’t have a wedding or an engagement. I met him during a very difficult time, right after my brother passed away, which may have caused us to rush into having a child. Lately, I’ve promised to sleep with him at least once a week, but when I keep that promise and don’t follow through, his attitude toward me changes. I’ve been a stay-at-home mom for two years, and we share a joint account but also have separate accounts. Every month, he gives me an “allowance” – it used to be $400, but now it’s down to just $100 a month for myself. He gets upset when I don’t save this allowance. We never go on dates because my family is too far away, and he doesn’t trust nannies. I have a bar, but it’s in his name, and so is the house. He has told me that if we were to separate, he would go back to Korea and fight for custody. If he gets custody, I would be responsible for flying my daughter to see him each time, which I could never afford. I can’t even cover legal fees if we get divorced because I have no money. His family is wealthy and would support him, but my family is not in a position to help me. I’m terrified of losing my daughter because I don’t know where I would live. My mom lives across the country and wants me to stay with him, while my dad and stepmom enjoy their child-free life. My husband doesn’t want to go to therapy and told me, “a man wants to protect his girl when he gets to sleep with her.” He has also criticized my appearance, saying that when I got my hair done, I looked like his mom, and when I bought new clothes, he said they weren’t his style. Every time we have sex, I just want to cry. I feel completely trapped, with no way out. As much as I despise my current situation, I fear losing my child more than anything else.