Your situation is indeed unique, but it reflects a growing trend among modern families where non-traditional arrangements can lead to positive outcomes. It’s commendable that you and your ex-husband have found a way to rekindle your relationship while prioritizing your children’s well-being. Here are some insights and examples that may resonate with your experience:

1. The Benefits of Co-Parenting:

Many parents find that their co-parenting relationship improves after divorce, especially when they establish clear boundaries and communication. A study published in the Journal of Family Psychology highlights that effective co-parenting can lead to better emotional and behavioral outcomes for children. By maintaining a strong partnership in parenting, you and your ex-husband are likely providing a stable environment that fosters your children’s happiness.

2. The Importance of Space:

It's entirely valid to recognize that having personal space contributes positively to your relationship. Research indicates that space in relationships can enhance individual well-being and the partnership itself. Your decision to live separately while remaining committed to each other allows both of you to maintain your identities and independence, which can ultimately strengthen your bond.

3. Navigating the Kids’ Emotions:

Introducing the idea of your renewed relationship to your children in an age-appropriate manner is crucial. Children often thrive on routine and stability, so ensuring they understand that both parents are committed to their happiness can alleviate any concerns. For instance, consider how you might explain your arrangement: “Mom and Dad love each other and want to be together, but we also love having our own spaces where we can be our best selves.” This approach can help normalize your situation for them.

4. Exploring Housing Solutions:

Your idea of purchasing a duplex or two separate homes on the same property is an innovative solution that many modern families are considering. This setup allows for proximity while respecting individual boundaries. Some families have successfully created shared spaces for family activities, while also having their private areas to retreat to. This arrangement can foster a sense of community and togetherness without compromising personal space.

5. Legal Considerations:

As you mentioned, marrying again can provide legal benefits, such as rights related to health care, inheritance, and decision-making in emergencies. It’s wise to consult with a legal professional to understand how remarriage might affect your financial and custody arrangements. This decision can also signify to your children that you are committed to each other in a more formal way, which can provide them with a sense of security.

6. Seeking Support and Community:

While it may feel like you’re in an unusual situation, there are communities and support groups where you can connect with others who share similar experiences. Online forums, such as those on Reddit’s Co-Parenting community, can provide valuable insights and advice. Engaging with others can help you feel less isolated and give you new perspectives on your arrangement.

In conclusion, your relationship dynamic, while unconventional, has the potential to be a positive model for your children. As long as your kids feel loved and secure, and you both maintain a healthy partnership, you are on the right track. It’s essential to continue communicating openly with each other and with your children as you navigate this journey together.