It sounds like you’re in a really tough situation, and it’s understandable to feel confused and hurt by Derek's sudden change in behavior. Here are some steps you can take to reach out to him while being sensitive to his feelings:

1. Give Him Some Space:

While it’s natural to want to reach out immediately, sometimes giving him a little more time can be helpful. It allows him to process his feelings without feeling pressured. Consider waiting a few more days before reaching out again.

2. Craft a Thoughtful Message:

When you do decide to reach out, keep your message simple and open-ended. Here’s an example:

“Hey Derek, I’ve been thinking about you and wanted to check in. I hope you’re feeling better. I’m here if you want to talk or if you need some space, just let me know.”

This message shows that you care but also respects his need for space.

3. Acknowledge the Awkwardness:

It might help to acknowledge the awkwardness of his meeting with your parents. You could say something like:

“I know the dinner with my parents was a bit awkward, and I totally understand if it made you feel uncomfortable. I’d love to hear your thoughts when you’re ready.”

4. Be Prepared for Any Response:

He may respond positively, or he might still need more time. If he opens up about feeling overwhelmed or anxious after meeting your parents, try to listen without judgment. You could say:

“I appreciate you sharing that with me. It’s okay to feel overwhelmed sometimes, and I’m here for you.”

5. Reflect on Your Feelings:

While you’re waiting for his response, take some time to reflect on your own feelings. Consider what you want from this relationship and how his behavior is affecting you. This self-reflection can help you communicate more clearly when you do talk.

6. Seek Support:

If you’re feeling particularly anxious about the situation, don’t hesitate to talk to friends or family members about it. They can provide you with support and perspective.

7. Consider Your Boundaries:

If Derek continues to ghost you after your message, it may be worth considering how much effort you want to invest in this relationship. Healthy relationships require communication and mutual respect, and it’s important to prioritize your emotional well-being.

Ultimately, communication is key. Being open and honest about your feelings while also respecting his need for space can help you navigate this challenging situation. Remember, you deserve someone who is willing to communicate and engage with you. Good luck!