Dealing with passive-aggressive behavior can be incredibly challenging, especially when it stems from deeply ingrained patterns learned during childhood. Your observations about your husband's upbringing are insightful; often, individuals mirror the communication styles they observed in their families. Here are some strategies and insights to help you navigate this difficult situation:

Understanding Passive-Aggressive Behavior

Passive-aggressive behavior often manifests as indirect resistance to the demands or requests of others. This can include:

• Procrastination
• Deliberate inefficiency
• Silent treatment
• Feigning forgetfulness

In your case, the lack of genuine engagement during your weekly meetings might be a way for your husband to avoid conflict while maintaining a facade of cooperation.

Communicating Effectively

Since your weekly meetings have turned superficial, it may be helpful to adjust their structure. Here are some suggestions:

• Set Clear Agendas: Before each meeting, create and share an agenda that outlines specific topics you both want to address. This can help keep the conversation focused and prevent it from becoming a mere "well done" session.
• Use "I" Statements: When discussing feelings, use "I" statements to express how his behavior affects you. For example, instead of saying, "You never take my feelings seriously," try, "I feel hurt when our disagreements aren't addressed because it seems like my feelings don’t matter."
• Encourage Honesty: Foster an environment where both of you feel safe expressing your true feelings. You might say, "I appreciate when you share your feelings honestly, even if it’s difficult."

Addressing the Question: “What’s Wrong?”

When your husband asks, "What's wrong?" after unresolved disagreements, it can feel dismissive. Consider responding in a way that encourages him to engage more deeply:

• Clarify Your Feelings: Instead of simply saying, "Nothing," you could respond with, "I’m still feeling upset about our last disagreement. Can we talk about it?" This encourages open dialogue.
• Express Your Needs: Let him know that you need him to acknowledge the issue rather than acting as if it didn’t happen. For example, you might say, "It would help me if we could discuss what happened last time instead of brushing it off."

Seek Professional Help

If these strategies don’t yield the desired results, consider seeking couples therapy. A neutral third party can facilitate more productive discussions and help both of you understand each other's perspectives better. Therapists can introduce tools and frameworks that encourage more effective communication.

Self-Care and Boundaries

Lastly, remember the importance of self-care. Engaging with passive-aggressive behavior can be emotionally draining. Establish boundaries that protect your emotional well-being. For example, if discussions become too heated or circular, it’s okay to take a break and revisit the conversation later.

In conclusion, addressing passive-aggressive behavior requires patience, open communication, and sometimes professional guidance. By fostering a culture of honesty and emotional safety in your relationship, you can work towards deeper understanding and resolution of conflicts.