It sounds like you're in a very confusing and emotionally taxing situation with your boyfriend. The mix of humor and serious topics, especially regarding a relationship, can create a lot of misunderstandings and hurt feelings. Here’s a breakdown of the situation and some thoughts on how to approach it.

Understanding Humor in Relationships

Humor can be a tricky aspect of relationships. Some people use jokes to cope with stress or to test the waters in a relationship. However, when jokes touch on sensitive topics like breakups, they can often lead to miscommunication and pain. Your boyfriend's comments about breaking up could stem from a few different places:

• Insecurity: He may be feeling insecure about the relationship and is joking to mask his fears. This could be a way for him to gauge your reaction without having to confront his feelings directly.
• Testing Boundaries: Sometimes, people make jokes about serious topics to see how their partner reacts. It might be his way of figuring out how committed you are to the relationship.
• A Coping Mechanism: If he is feeling overwhelmed or unsure about the relationship, he might be using humor as a defense mechanism to avoid discussing serious feelings.

His Reactions and Blame

His reaction to your feelings of anger and confusion is also concerning. Blaming you for your reaction when he makes “jokes” about breaking up is not a healthy dynamic. It’s important to be in a relationship where both partners feel safe expressing their feelings without fear of blame or ridicule.

Setting Boundaries

Given the pattern of behavior you've described, it might be time to set some clear boundaries. Here are a few suggestions:

• Communicate Clearly: Have a frank conversation with him about how his jokes make you feel. Use “I” statements, like “I feel hurt when you joke about breaking up because it makes me feel insecure about our relationship.”
• Define Acceptable Humor: Let him know what kind of humor is acceptable in your relationship. It’s okay to have fun, but jokes about serious topics like breakups should be off-limits.
• Assess Your Feelings: Take some time to reflect on whether this relationship is meeting your emotional needs. If you feel consistently anxious or insecure, it may be worth considering if this relationship is right for you.

Moving Forward

If he continues with the jokes and doesn’t take your feelings seriously, it may be wise to reevaluate the relationship. A healthy partnership should prioritize mutual respect and understanding. If you feel that he is not invested in the relationship and continues to use humor to downplay your feelings, you might want to consider moving on.

Conclusion

In summary, it’s essential to communicate your feelings and establish boundaries regarding humor in your relationship. If your boyfriend is unable or unwilling to respect those boundaries, it might be time to consider your options. Remember, you deserve a relationship where you feel valued and secure.

Take care of yourself, and remember that your feelings are valid.