It's understandable to feel hurt and frustrated in your situation. Navigating relationships where friends of a partner are disrespectful can be quite challenging. Here are some thoughts and suggestions that may help you address this issue:

1. Acknowledge Your Feelings:

First and foremost, it's important to recognize that your feelings are valid. Experiencing hurtful comments or misbehavior from your boyfriend's friends can be emotionally taxing. You mentioned feeling like a terrible person for wanting to avoid them, but it's crucial to prioritize your mental well-being. Remember, you deserve to be treated with respect.

2. Open Communication with Your Boyfriend:

It sounds like you have already tried to communicate your feelings to your boyfriend, but it may be helpful to approach the conversation differently. Here are a few tips:

• Use "I" Statements: Instead of saying, "Your friends are rude," try saying, "I feel hurt when your friends make comments about me." This shifts the focus to your feelings rather than placing blame.
• Be Specific: Provide specific examples of comments or behaviors that have upset you. This can help him understand the gravity of the situation.
• Express Your Needs: Let him know that you need him to support you by addressing his friends' behavior. You might say, "It would mean a lot to me if you could talk to them about how their comments affect me."

3. Set Boundaries:

Setting boundaries is essential in any relationship. If you find that being around his friends consistently leads to hurtful interactions, it's okay to limit your exposure to them. You mentioned unfollowing them on social media, which is a positive step. Additionally, consider discussing with your boyfriend how often you feel comfortable attending gatherings with his friends and express your preference for smaller, more intimate get-togethers where you feel safe and respected.

4. Encourage Him to Reflect:

Sometimes, people don’t realize the impact of their friends’ behavior. Encourage your boyfriend to reflect on whether he would tolerate such behavior if the roles were reversed. Ask him how he would feel if his friends treated someone he cared about poorly. This might help him see things from your perspective.

5. Evaluate the Relationship:

If, after multiple conversations, your boyfriend still does not take a stand or address the issue, it may be time to evaluate the relationship. Ask yourself:

• Do I feel supported in this relationship?
• Is my partner willing to stand up for me?
• Can I envision a future where I am comfortable around his friends?

It's essential to be with someone who respects you and stands up for you, especially in situations where you feel vulnerable.

6. Seek Support:

Consider reaching out to trusted friends or family for support. They can provide a listening ear and might offer valuable insights or advice. Sometimes, discussing your feelings with others can help you gain perspective and feel less isolated.

7. Prioritize Self-Care:

Lastly, remember to take care of yourself. Engage in activities that bring you joy and help you relax. Whether it's spending time with supportive friends, engaging in hobbies, or practicing mindfulness, self-care is crucial during difficult times.

In conclusion, while it’s important for your boyfriend to maintain relationships with his friends, it’s equally important for him to recognize and address behavior that is hurtful to you. Open communication, setting boundaries, and prioritizing your emotional well-being are key steps in navigating this challenging situation.