It sounds like you are navigating an incredibly challenging and painful situation. Ending a marriage is never easy, especially when there are children involved. Your primary concern for your daughter's well-being is commendable, and it's crucial to prioritize a healthy environment for her moving forward.

The incident you described is serious, particularly because it involved physical aggression in front of your child. Witnessing violence can have long-lasting effects on children, even at a young age. Research indicates that exposure to domestic violence can lead to emotional and behavioral issues in children, affecting their development and well-being (Graham-Bermann & Hughes, 2003). It's understandable that you are concerned about how this experience will impact your daughter in the future.

While it’s positive that your wife has expressed remorse, it’s essential to recognize that physical aggression is a significant red flag in any relationship. Apologies, while important, do not erase the harm done. It’s critical for both of you to acknowledge the severity of the situation and the need for change. As you navigate this transition, here are some steps you may consider:

• Establish Boundaries: Given the history of physical aggression, it’s vital to set clear boundaries regarding acceptable behavior. Discussing these boundaries openly can help create a safer environment for both you and your daughter.
• Seek Professional Help: Consider engaging a family therapist or counselor who specializes in domestic issues. They can provide a neutral space for both of you to express your feelings and work through the situation constructively.
• Focus on Co-Parenting: As you both transition into co-parents, prioritize communication about your daughter's needs. Create a co-parenting plan that outlines responsibilities, schedules, and how to handle conflicts amicably.
• Encourage Independence: Support your wife in finding employment and housing. This can help her regain independence and reduce reliance on you, which could alleviate some tension in your living situation.
• Document Everything: Continue to document any incidents of aggression or concerning behavior. This documentation may be useful if needed in legal matters related to custody or support.

Living together as co-parents while preparing for divorce can be challenging. It’s essential to maintain a civil atmosphere for your daughter’s sake. Try to engage in activities that foster a positive environment, such as family outings or shared responsibilities, while keeping the focus on her well-being.

Lastly, take care of yourself during this time. Emotional turmoil can take a toll on your mental health, so ensure you have a support system in place—whether it’s friends, family, or a therapist. Taking care of your well-being will allow you to be a better parent and navigate this difficult transition more effectively.

Remember, this situation is complex, and it’s okay to seek help and take the time you need to process everything. Your commitment to creating a healthy environment for your daughter speaks volumes about your character. Stay strong, and take it one day at a time.