It’s completely understandable to have mixed feelings about receiving an email that feels both heartfelt and recycled. The emotional complexity of your situation, especially after the profound loss you and your wife have experienced, adds another layer to this. Here are some thoughts that may help you navigate these feelings:

1. The Nature of Grief:

Grief can manifest in unexpected ways, and people often seek comfort in familiar expressions and memories. Your wife may have drawn from her past experiences to articulate her feelings during this challenging time. It’s possible that she was trying to convey her emotions in the best way she could, using what she knew worked for her before. This doesn’t necessarily diminish her feelings for you but reflects her struggle to communicate in a time of pain.

2. The Value of Originality vs. Sentiment:

On one hand, you appreciate the sentiment behind the email. It shows that she is thinking of you and wants to express her love. On the other hand, the familiarity of the phrases makes it feel less personal. For example, if she referred to you as “my rock” or used specific anecdotes from your relationship, it may have felt more authentic. Consider discussing how certain phrases resonate differently with you and how personalized messages could enhance your connection.

3. Communication is Key:

This situation opens the door for a deeper conversation between you and your wife. You could express your appreciation for her efforts while gently sharing your feelings about the email. For instance, you might say, "I loved reading your email and felt your love, but I also noticed some familiar phrases that made me question if they were entirely personal to us." This approach encourages openness without assigning blame or creating defensiveness.

4. Exploring Vulnerability:

Given the emotional weight you both carry, it might be beneficial to explore vulnerability together. You could suggest writing letters to each other, sharing your thoughts and feelings in an unfiltered way. This could foster a deeper emotional connection and allow both of you to express yourselves without the constraints of past templates. You might say, "What if we both wrote letters to each other about our feelings? It could be a way to connect more deeply."

5. Reflecting on the Relationship:

Take this moment as an opportunity to reflect on your relationship. Think about what makes your bond unique and how you can nurture it moving forward. Perhaps you can create new memories or rituals that are distinctly yours, which could help solidify your connection during this time of healing.

Conclusion:

In the end, it’s essential to focus on the intention behind her message rather than just the words themselves. Emphasizing your love and support for each other will be vital as you continue to navigate this tough journey together. Remember, rebuilding and strengthening your relationship will take time, and open communication will be your best ally.