It's truly inspiring to hear how you and your husband have transformed your relationship through the practice of “The State of Our Union” talks. It's a testament to the power of communication, gratitude, and intentionality in a marriage, especially when navigating the challenges of raising young children.

In many relationships, especially those with children, couples can easily fall into a routine where they are merely co-existing rather than thriving together. The roles of the “nagging wife” and the “yes, honey” husband can lead to feelings of resentment and disconnect. By recognizing this pattern and actively working to change it, you both have taken significant steps toward a healthier relationship.

Here are several key elements that contribute to the success of your weekly talks:

• Gratitude Practice: Starting each talk by listing five things you appreciate about each other sets a positive tone. This practice not only fosters a sense of connection but also helps to remind both of you of the love and respect that underpins your relationship. Research has shown that expressing gratitude can significantly improve relationship satisfaction (Emmons & McCullough, 2003).
• Constructive Communication: Transitioning from gratitude to discussing grievances in a constructive way is crucial. This structured approach ensures that both partners feel heard and valued. Instead of merely venting frustrations, you’re providing each other with specific feedback that can lead to actionable changes.
• Requesting Love: Asking, “How can I love you better this week?” is a powerful way to invite vulnerability and openness. It allows both of you to express your needs and expectations clearly. For example, your husband’s thoughtful response to your birthday gift request exemplifies how understanding and addressing each other’s needs can strengthen your bond.
• Commitment to Change: The commitment to show up for one another is essential. It’s one thing to have discussions, but consistently implementing changes based on those talks is what leads to real progress. This commitment shows a mutual respect for each other’s feelings and needs.

As you approach your 6th wedding anniversary, consider celebrating not just the years you've spent together but the growth you've achieved through these talks. Perhaps you could plan a special date night where you reflect on the positive changes in your relationship and set new intentions for the future.

Additionally, it might be beneficial to incorporate some fun into your weekly talks. You could rotate who chooses the setting or theme for each discussion, making it a more engaging experience. For example, one week, you could have a picnic in the living room, and another week, you could enjoy a coffee date at your favorite café.

In conclusion, your journey from survival mode to thriving as a couple is commendable and serves as a reminder that with effort, communication, and a little creativity, couples can navigate the challenges of parenthood while nurturing their relationship. Keep up the great work, and happy early anniversary!