It’s understandable that you’re feeling overwhelmed by the situation. Trust is a fundamental part of any relationship, and it’s commendable that you want to take steps to mend things between you and your girlfriend. Here are some strategies you can consider to help rebuild trust and improve communication:

1. Acknowledge Her Feelings

Start by validating your girlfriend's feelings. She feels heartbroken and betrayed, and it’s important to recognize that her emotions are valid. You might say something like:

“I understand that you feel hurt and betrayed because I didn’t share my struggles with you. I’m really sorry for not being open about it.”

2. Open Up About Your Feelings

Share your feelings of shame and embarrassment with her. Explain why you felt compelled to keep the medication a secret. For example:

“I was feeling anxious about my performance, and I didn’t want to worry you or make you feel differently about me. I realize now that I should have trusted you with that information.”

3. Have an Honest Conversation

Initiate a calm and honest conversation. Choose a comfortable setting where both of you can speak freely. Discuss the reasons behind your decision not to disclose the medication and how it made you feel. Be prepared to listen to her perspective as well.

4. Take Responsibility

Accept responsibility for your actions. Avoid making excuses, and focus on how you can improve moving forward. You could say:

“I take full responsibility for not being open with you. I realize that my actions have affected our trust, and I want to work on that.”

5. Rebuild Trust Gradually

Rebuilding trust takes time. Make a commitment to be more transparent moving forward. This could involve sharing your feelings more openly or discussing any other challenges you face in the relationship.

6. Suggest Professional Help

If you’re comfortable, consider suggesting couples therapy. A professional can provide guidance and facilitate open communication between both of you. It could be beneficial to have a neutral party help navigate these sensitive topics.

7. Show Consistent Effort

Actions speak louder than words. Show her that you are committed to being more honest and open. This could involve small gestures, such as checking in with her about your feelings regularly or being more communicative about your needs and concerns.

8. Give Her Space If Needed

Understand that she may need some time to process her feelings. Allow her the space to do so, but reassure her that you’re willing to talk whenever she feels ready.

9. Practice Self-Care

While focusing on your relationship, don’t forget to take care of yourself. Engage in activities that help alleviate your anxiety and depression. This could include exercise, meditation, or hobbies that bring you joy.

10. Learn from the Experience

Finally, take this experience as a learning opportunity. Reflect on what led to the decision to keep the medication a secret and how you can approach similar situations differently in the future. Consider reading books or articles on communication in relationships, which can provide valuable insights.

Remember, rebuilding trust is a process, and it requires patience and effort from both sides. By taking these steps, you can work toward healing your relationship and becoming more open with each other.