It’s understandable that you’re feeling confused and frustrated by the mixed signals your wife is sending. When someone says they want a divorce but continues to behave in ways that seem affectionate or intimate, it can make it really hard to understand where you stand. Here are some things to consider as you try to navigate this difficult situation:

1. Clear Communication Is Key: It seems like both of you are uncertain about what the other person wants or expects. If you haven’t already, it might help to have a very honest conversation with her. Ask her directly about her feelings, what she expects from you, and what she needs during this time. The mixed signals may be a sign that she’s not clear about her own emotions, or that she’s uncertain about the next steps.
2. Understand the Emotional Complexity of Divorce: Divorce is a big decision, and it often comes with a lot of emotional ups and downs. Your wife might be going through conflicting feelings — maybe she’s not fully ready to let go, or she’s struggling with the idea of being on her own, especially if she’s financially dependent on you. This doesn't necessarily mean she wants to stay married, but it does suggest that the transition is difficult for her.
3. Recognize Potential Manipulation: It's also possible that she could be using these affectionate behaviors (cuddling, hugging, kissing) to maintain some level of emotional security without having to fully commit to staying in the marriage. This could be a form of emotional manipulation, either intentionally or unconsciously, where she keeps you emotionally tied while not being clear about her intentions.
4. Set Boundaries: If you’re feeling confused by her behavior, it might be time to establish clearer boundaries for yourself. You could explain to her that you need clarity in the situation and that you can’t continue to engage in intimacy or affectionate behaviors if she’s set on a divorce. This will help you protect your emotional well-being and avoid false hope if she’s not fully committed to reconciliation.
5. Consider Your Own Needs: It’s important to remember that you need to look out for yourself in this situation too. If you’re already mentally preparing for the end of the relationship, it might be a good idea to seek some outside support, either from a therapist or a trusted friend, to help process what you’re feeling and help you move forward, regardless of what your wife decides.

It’s not easy to navigate a situation where emotions are tangled and the future is uncertain. Take the time to evaluate what you want out of this relationship and what’s best for your own emotional health as well.