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"I’m 21, and I have this deep feeling of love for my friend. It’s hard to explain, but I know that I want her to be in my life and that I love her in a way I’ve never felt before. I’ve never had feelings like this before, and I’m sure of what I want. I know I want her to be mine. She says she wants me in her life, but she doesn’t have romantic feelings for me. It’s been two years since we met, and she says if feelings were going to develop, they would’ve already. She told me that while she has the same sense of wanting me in her life, it’s as a friend, not more. She said that it’s possible for things to change, but it hasn’t happened yet. She also mentioned things she doesn’t like about me that I need to work on, but she told me I’m definitely the nicest guy she’s ever met. I think a lot about my parents’ love story. People think they’re inseparable, and they have this amazing love, but the truth is my mom didn’t like my dad at first. He had a huge crush on her, and they were good friends for a long time before she fell for him." Possible Answers and Insights: Understanding Answer: "It’s tough when you feel a strong connection and love for someone who only sees you as a friend. It sounds like you really care for her, and your feelings are strong, but sometimes love takes time to grow or change. It’s good that you’re willing to work on yourself and listen to her feedback. Relationships can evolve, and while things might not be the way you want them right now, there’s always a possibility for the future." Reassuring Answer: "It’s natural to want something more when you feel deeply for someone, especially when you have hope based on your parents’ story. But it’s also important to respect her feelings and the time it takes for emotions to develop. Just because things aren’t there yet doesn’t mean they never will be, and sometimes patience and understanding can lead to unexpected outcomes. For now, being a supportive and great friend is a solid foundation." Supportive Answer: "It’s clear you really care about her and want something deeper, and it’s tough when she doesn’t feel the same way. However, her feelings might change over time, just like in your parents' story. But it’s important to give her space to feel things in her own way, without pressure. Focus on improving yourself as she suggested and continue being a great friend to her. You’re in a great position for either a deep friendship or possibly something more in the future."

2 months ago
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It’s completely understandable to feel a deep connection with someone, especially when you've invested two years of friendship. You’re experiencing emotions that are not only powerful but also complex. Let's break this down and explore your feelings, her perspective, and what steps you might consider moving forward.

Understanding Your Feelings

Your feelings for her are strong, and it’s important to acknowledge that love can manifest in various forms, including platonic and romantic. Your desire for a romantic relationship stems from a genuine connection, which is beautiful. However, it’s crucial to remember that love isn’t always reciprocated in the same way. It might be helpful to reflect on what you truly value about her and your friendship. Is it her kindness, humor, or shared interests? This understanding can help you navigate your feelings while respecting hers.

Her Perspective

It's clear that she values you as a friend, which is a significant part of her life. When she says that if feelings were going to develop, they would have by now, she’s likely expressing her honest feelings. It’s essential to respect her stance. She has communicated her desire for friendship, and while she remains open to the possibility of change, it’s important to accept her current feelings. This acceptance is a testament to your maturity and respect for her autonomy.

The Role of Patience

In relationships, emotions can be fluid. Just like in your parents’ story, love can develop over time. However, it’s vital to allow her to feel and process her emotions without pressure. You could focus on being a supportive friend first, as this can strengthen your bond. Engage in activities you both enjoy, and continue to show her the kindness and respect that she values in you. Sometimes, strong friendships can provide a foundation for deeper feelings to develop naturally.

Self-Improvement and Growth

Her feedback about aspects you need to work on is crucial. This is an opportunity for personal growth. Reflect on her comments and consider how you can improve yourself, not just for her but for your own well-being. Working on yourself can enhance your confidence and attractiveness, not just in romantic terms but also in your friendships and professional relationships. This could include developing new skills, pursuing hobbies, or even working on personal traits that she mentioned.

Maintaining Boundaries

While it's natural to hope for a romantic shift in your relationship, it’s important to maintain healthy boundaries. Being overly expressive about your feelings might put pressure on her and strain your friendship. Instead, create a space where both of you can be open and honest without expectations. This approach fosters trust and allows her to feel comfortable expressing herself.

Conclusion

In summary, navigating feelings for a friend who doesn’t share the same romantic interest can be challenging. It’s essential to respect her feelings and focus on being the best friend you can be. Keep the lines of communication open, work on your personal growth, and allow time to reveal what the future holds. Love can be unpredictable, and sometimes, the best relationships evolve from strong friendships. Remember, you are not alone in this experience, and many have faced similar situations with varying outcomes.

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