It sounds like you're in a very challenging situation, and it's important to take a step back to evaluate your relationship and your own emotional well-being. Here are some key points to consider:

Understanding Relationship Dynamics

From what you've described, it seems that you and your girlfriend have different attachment styles, which can create conflicts in a relationship. You identify as having an anxious attachment style, while she appears to have an avoidant attachment style. This dynamic often leads to misunderstandings and emotional distance.

• Anxious Attachment: Individuals with this style often seek closeness and reassurance, feeling insecure without it.
• Avoidant Attachment: Those with this style may prioritize independence and may feel overwhelmed by intimacy, leading them to withdraw.

Recognizing Red Flags

It's crucial to recognize the signs that your relationship may not be healthy. Some red flags you've mentioned include:

• Lack of Communication: Her refusal to share about her day or engage in meaningful conversation is concerning.
• Defensiveness: When you express your feelings, her defensiveness suggests a lack of willingness to work through issues together.
• Disrespectful Comments: Statements like "None of your business" and telling you to not cry are dismissive and can be emotionally damaging.

Evaluating Your Emotions

Consider how her behavior affects your emotional health. If you find yourself feeling consistently hurt, anxious, or undervalued, it's important to acknowledge those feelings. Ask yourself:

• Do I feel supported and valued in this relationship?
• Am I able to express my feelings without fear of backlash?
• Is this relationship helping me grow as a person?

Setting Boundaries

Setting boundaries is essential in any relationship. If her behavior continues to hurt you, it’s okay to communicate your needs clearly. For example:

"I need to feel respected and valued in this relationship. If we can't communicate openly, I will need to reevaluate my involvement."

Considering the Future

Ultimately, you need to consider what you want for your future. If she has expressed that she will not change and you feel you cannot endure the current state of the relationship, it may be time to think about ending things. Reflect on the following:

• Personal Growth: Will staying in this relationship hinder your personal development?
• Long-Term Happiness: Can you see a happy future together, or do you envision more pain and conflict?
• Support System: Do you have friends or family who can support you through this decision?

Taking Action

If you decide to end the relationship, do so respectfully, explaining your feelings and needs clearly, but also firmly. If you choose to stay, consider seeking couples therapy or individual therapy to help navigate these complexities.

Conclusion

Ultimately, you deserve a relationship where you feel loved, respected, and valued. Remember, it’s okay to prioritize your emotional health. Whatever decision you make, ensure it aligns with your well-being and future happiness.