I understand your frustration, and it’s perfectly valid to feel upset about your in-laws’ lack of support and their enabling of a contractor who betrayed you. Navigating family boundaries, especially when financial issues are involved, can be tricky, but there are some important steps you can take to protect yourself, your husband, and your family moving forward.

1. Set Clear Boundaries: You and your husband have already agreed that you won’t provide financial support to your in-laws anymore. Be firm about this and communicate it clearly to them. It’s crucial to stand by this decision, even if it feels uncomfortable. You don’t owe anyone money if they’ve taken advantage of your generosity, and your financial well-being should be a priority.
2. Distance Yourself Emotionally: It’s clear that your in-laws aren’t showing the kind of support or understanding that you and your husband need right now. You don’t have to cut them out entirely, but it’s okay to take a step back emotionally. Limit the amount of time and energy you invest in trying to “fix” your relationship with them. If they continue to dismiss your feelings or side with people who have wronged you, it might be necessary to distance yourselves further.
3. Communicate with Your Husband: This is a tough situation, but it’s important to keep open lines of communication with your husband about your feelings. Both of you need to be on the same page regarding how to approach future situations with his family. If he feels strongly that his parents should support him, ensure you’re in agreement on how to handle future conflicts with them.
4. Focus on Your Own Family: Your first priority is your own immediate family—your husband and son. Focus on strengthening that relationship and creating a healthy, supportive environment for all of you. It’s natural to feel hurt and betrayed by your in-laws, but remember that you have your own team, and that’s what matters most.
5. Consider Setting Specific Expectations: When it comes to your in-laws, it might help to set clear expectations moving forward. For example, if they continue to ask for financial help or want to push boundaries, calmly and firmly remind them of your decision to no longer provide support. It’s important to be consistent so they understand your boundaries are not negotiable.
6. Therapy for Communication (Optional): If this situation continues to create tension, you and your husband may benefit from speaking to a therapist to improve communication and develop a strategy for handling difficult family dynamics. Sometimes, having an impartial third party can help navigate these tough issues.
7. Don’t Feel Guilty for Setting Boundaries: You might feel guilty for setting boundaries with your in-laws, especially since you’ve helped them in the past, but remember that setting healthy boundaries is essential for your mental and emotional well-being. It’s not about punishing them; it’s about protecting yourself from further harm.

It’s not easy when family members don’t respect your needs or boundaries, but staying firm in your decisions and focusing on your own family will ultimately bring peace and security. You deserve support and understanding, especially from those closest to you, and if your in-laws aren’t able to provide that, it’s okay to distance yourself for your own well-being.