It's completely understandable to feel some jealousy or discomfort in this situation, especially considering your past experiences. Here are some strategies to help you navigate your feelings and improve your relationship with your girlfriend's friend:

1. Acknowledge Your Feelings

First and foremost, it's important to acknowledge and validate your feelings. Jealousy often stems from insecurities or past experiences, and recognizing that it's okay to feel this way is the first step in addressing it. Remind yourself that these feelings are normal and that many people experience similar emotions in relationships.

2. Communicate with Your Girlfriend

Open communication is key in any relationship. Consider having a candid conversation with your girlfriend about your feelings. You might say something like:

"I want to be honest with you about something I've been struggling with. I trust you completely, but I feel a bit uncomfortable about your friendship with [Guy Friend]. It's not about you; it's about my past experiences and insecurities. Can we talk about it?"

By sharing your feelings, you allow her to provide reassurance and support, which can help alleviate your concerns.

3. Challenge Negative Thoughts

When feelings of jealousy arise, it can be helpful to challenge those negative thoughts. Ask yourself questions like:

• What evidence do I have that my girlfriend is being disloyal?
• Is there any reason to believe that her feelings for this friend have changed?
• How would I feel if the roles were reversed?

By reframing your thoughts, you can begin to reduce the power that jealousy holds over you.

4. Build Trust

Trust is foundational in any relationship. Since your girlfriend has shown you loyalty, focus on building trust in your relationship. Consider doing activities together that strengthen your bond, such as:

• Going on a weekend trip together
• Engaging in a shared hobby or interest
• Spending time with her friends, including the one you’re uncomfortable with

As you strengthen your relationship, you may find that your feelings of jealousy diminish.

5. Get to Know Him

Sometimes, getting to know the person you’re feeling uneasy about can help alleviate those feelings. Try to engage with your girlfriend's friend in a neutral setting. You might invite him to a group outing or a casual get-together where you can interact more naturally. This can help you see him as an individual rather than just the guy your girlfriend used to like.

6. Focus on the Positive

Instead of fixating on your negative feelings, try to focus on the positive aspects of your relationship with your girlfriend. Remind yourself of the reasons you fell in love with her and the trust you have built together. Consider keeping a journal where you can jot down positive experiences or affirmations about your relationship.

7. Seek Professional Help

If your feelings continue to overwhelm you, consider speaking with a therapist or counselor. They can help you work through your insecurities and provide strategies tailored to your situation.

Conclusion

Feeling jealous or uncomfortable about your girlfriend's friend is a common experience, especially for those with past relationship trauma. By acknowledging your feelings, communicating openly, challenging negative thoughts, and working on trust, you can gradually move past these emotions. Remember, relationships require effort and understanding, and it's okay to seek help when needed.

Ultimately, it's about finding a balance between your feelings and the trust you have in your girlfriend. With time and effort, you can develop a healthier perspective on this friendship and strengthen your relationship.