Your situation is undoubtedly challenging, and it’s understandable that you’re feeling hurt and confused after such a distressing incident. Here are some thoughts and suggestions that might help you navigate this situation.

1. Understanding the Context:

It’s important to recognize the context of your relationship. You mentioned that you and your girlfriend have been dating for about 10 months, and that things have felt rocky lately due to busy schedules. This could have contributed to her feeling overwhelmed and possibly resorting to humor inappropriately. Sometimes, people use jokes as a way to cope with their own feelings of insecurity or distress.

2. The Nature of the Joke:

Your girlfriend’s decision to joke about something so serious as infidelity was not only misguided but also hurtful. While playful teasing is a part of many relationships, it’s crucial to establish boundaries about what is acceptable and what can cause emotional distress. It’s essential to communicate that jokes about trust and fidelity are not acceptable, as they can lead to significant misunderstandings.

3. Communication is Key:

You’ve already taken a step in expressing your feelings to her, which is excellent. Open and honest communication is vital in any relationship, especially after a breach of trust, even if it was unintentional. Consider discussing the following:

• How her joke affected you: Explain the feelings of betrayal and hurt you experienced. Use “I” statements to express your emotions, such as “I felt devastated when I heard those messages” instead of “You hurt me.” This approach can prevent her from becoming defensive.
• Establishing boundaries: Discuss what types of jokes are acceptable and which ones cross the line. It’s important for both of you to feel safe and respected in your relationship.

4. Time for Reflection:

After such an incident, it’s crucial for both of you to reflect on your feelings and the relationship as a whole. Ask yourself:

• Do you believe this incident was a one-time mistake, or does it reflect deeper issues in your relationship?
• Can you see a path to rebuilding trust, or do you feel persistent doubts?
• Are both of you willing to work on the relationship and make the necessary changes?

5. Seeking Professional Help:

If you find it challenging to navigate these feelings on your own, consider seeking the help of a relationship counselor. A neutral third party can provide valuable insights and facilitate discussions that may be difficult to have alone.

6. Taking Time Apart:

Since you both agreed to take a break, use this time to gain clarity. It’s okay to take a step back to evaluate your feelings and what you truly want. Sometimes, distance can provide perspective and help you make a more informed decision about your relationship.

7. Moving Forward:

Ultimately, the decision to stay together or part ways is yours. If you decide to continue the relationship, it will require effort from both sides to rebuild trust and ensure that such misunderstandings don’t happen again. If you feel that the trust has been irreparably damaged, it might be healthier to let go.

In conclusion, prioritize open communication, establish boundaries, and take the necessary time to reflect on your feelings. Regardless of the outcome, remember that your emotional well-being is paramount.