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I (25M) recently asked out a waitress (24F) that I’ve been interested in for a while. We’ve both been busy, so it’s taken some time to set up a date, but we’ve been texting regularly, trying to find a time that works. Recently, I went out to a bar with my best friend and his girlfriend, who brought along her cousin (26F) with the idea of setting us up. Even though I wasn’t interested because I’ve had my eye on the waitress, his girlfriend kept trying to make it happen. Toward the end of the night, while my friend’s girlfriend was drunk, she shouted, “Did you get her number yet?!” to me. Feeling a bit awkward and pressured, I agreed to take the cousin’s number, but later on, I ended up texting her and rejecting the idea of pursuing anything further. The issue is, a few of the waitress’s coworkers were nearby when this happened, so I’m worried they might have told her about it. Now, it’s been over 36 hours since we last texted, and she hasn’t followed through with the message she said she would send. Normally, we text about twice a day, so the silence is making me uneasy. I’m thinking it might be best to reach out and explain the situation briefly to clear the air, or should I just keep it casual and ask if she’s gotten her schedule for the week instead? What’s the best move here?

a month ago
38

It's understandable to feel anxious about your situation, especially when it involves someone you're interested in. Here are some thoughts and suggestions that might help you navigate this delicate scenario:

1. Assess the Situation

First, it’s important to recognize that your actions at the bar could have been interpreted in various ways. While you were trying to be polite and not hurt anyone’s feelings, the fact that you were given the cousin’s number and then rejected her could have created some misunderstandings. It’s possible that the waitress might have heard about the situation from her coworkers, but it’s also possible she hasn’t heard anything at all.

2. Give It Some Time

Since it’s only been 36 hours since you last communicated, it might be wise to wait a little longer before reaching out. Sometimes people get busy, and she may need a few days to process her feelings about the situation. If she’s genuinely interested in you, she will likely reach out when she’s ready.

3. Consider Reaching Out

If after a few more days you still haven’t heard from her, it might be a good idea to send a light, casual message. You could say something like:

“Hey [Her Name], hope you’re doing well! Just wanted to check in and see if you got your schedule for the week. Looking forward to setting up that date!”

This message is friendly and shows your interest without being overly intense. It also gives her an opportunity to respond without pressure.

4. Addressing the Situation

If you feel that it’s necessary to explain what happened at the bar, you can do so in a brief and light-hearted way. For example:

“By the way, I hope you didn’t hear about my awkward situation at the bar with your cousin! I promise I’m only interested in you. Just wanted to clear that up in case it got back to you!”

This approach is honest and shows that you care about her feelings. It also keeps the tone light, which can help ease any tension.

5. Be Prepared for Any Outcome

Ultimately, be prepared for any response she might have. If she’s still interested, she’ll likely appreciate your honesty and reach out. If not, it’s important to respect her feelings and move on gracefully.

6. Reflect on Your Intentions

Finally, take a moment to reflect on your intentions and what you want from this relationship. Being clear about your feelings can help you communicate better in the future and avoid misunderstandings.

In summary, give it a bit more time, reach out casually if necessary, and be honest if the topic arises. Good luck!

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