It's completely understandable to feel confused and upset after hearing a joke like that, especially when it comes from someone you are dating. Jokes about sensitive topics, particularly those involving sexual violence, can be deeply unsettling and can indicate a lack of understanding or respect for the seriousness of such issues. Here are some considerations to help you navigate this situation:

1. Reflect on Your Feelings

Take some time to process your emotions. It's normal to feel a mix of confusion, anger, and disappointment. Ask yourself:

• Why did the joke make you feel uncomfortable?
• What does this joke say about his values or sense of humor?
• Are there any underlying patterns in his behavior that concern you?

2. Assess the Context

Consider the context in which the joke was made. If this was a one-off comment in an otherwise respectful relationship, it may warrant a conversation rather than an immediate end to the relationship. However, if he has made other inappropriate comments, this could be a red flag.

3. Communicate Your Feelings

Having an open and honest conversation with him about how the joke made you feel is crucial. Here’s how you might approach it:

• Express Your Feelings: Use “I” statements to communicate how you felt. For example, “I felt really uncomfortable when you joked about that topic.”
• Set Boundaries: Make it clear that jokes about sensitive subjects are not acceptable to you. You could say something like, “I understand you might not have meant harm, but that kind of humor is really upsetting to me.”

4. Observe His Reaction

Pay attention to how he responds to your concerns. A respectful partner should take your feelings seriously and apologize if he understands the impact of his words. If he dismisses your feelings or continues to joke about similar topics, it may indicate a deeper issue.

5. Evaluate the Relationship

After your conversation, take some time to evaluate whether you feel safe and respected in this relationship. Consider the following:

• Respect for Boundaries: Does he respect your feelings and boundaries moving forward?
• Growth Potential: Is he willing to learn from this experience and change his behavior?
• Overall Compatibility: Do you feel comfortable and valued in this relationship aside from this incident?

6. Make a Decision

Ultimately, it’s up to you to decide whether this relationship is worth pursuing. If you feel that he genuinely understands your perspective and is willing to grow, it might be worth giving him another chance. However, if you feel disrespected or if this is a pattern of behavior, it may be wise to reconsider the relationship.

7. Seek Support

Talk to friends or family members about your feelings. Sometimes, getting an outside perspective can help you clarify your thoughts and feelings. Additionally, if you feel comfortable, consider seeking advice from a counselor or therapist who can provide professional guidance.

In summary, it's important to prioritize your feelings and well-being. You deserve to be in a relationship where you feel safe and respected. Trust your instincts, and take the time you need to make the best decision for yourself.