I’ve been married for five years, and we’ve been together for 11. As I’m preparing for the arrival of our baby—I’m 9 months pregnant—I’ve been scrolling through old photos and videos to free up space. While doing this, I realized something heartbreaking: my husband doesn’t love me anymore. I’ve been convincing myself otherwise because I love him so much, but the signs are undeniable. Looking at old photos, I noticed how his smile has changed—it’s no longer the same warm, loving smile I used to see. In more recent photos, he looks distant. It hit me that it’s been a long time since he’s kissed me “just because.” Now, he only kisses me as part of a routine, like when he’s leaving the house. He doesn’t hug me the way he used to, seeking my touch. We’ve stopped making out altogether. He no longer takes photos of me or posts about me on his social media. I remember asking him once why he didn’t post about the surprise birthday getaway I planned for him. His response was that he didn’t want to make others jealous. During this pregnancy, not once has he told me I look pretty, even though he knows I’ve been struggling with my changing body. When I cry, he doesn’t comfort me anymore. His favorite songs right now seem to reflect longing and missing someone deeply, which only adds to my feelings of insecurity. For context, I caught him texting an ex-fling—someone I reluctantly agreed he could stay friends with after we moved to this new country. He said it was harmless, claiming he just enjoyed the attention. I felt deeply hurt because I’ve done everything I could to make him feel secure, confident, and loved. At this point, I’m too emotionally drained to care if he’s cheating again. I just needed to release these feelings. I want to tell him how I’m feeling—that I’m willing to let him go if he doesn’t love me anymore. But I know he won’t be honest with me. I feel stuck, especially with how close I am to giving birth. I know things will only get harder from here, and I don’t know what to do.

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Jessika Boston

I’ve been married for five years, and we’ve been together for 11. As I’m preparing for the arrival of our baby—I’m 9 months pregnant—I’ve been scrolling through old photos and videos to free up space. While doing this, I realized something heartbreaking: my husband doesn’t love me anymore. I’ve been convincing myself otherwise because I love him so much, but the signs are undeniable. Looking at old photos, I noticed how his smile has changed—it’s no longer the same warm, loving smile I used to see. In more recent photos, he looks distant. It hit me that it’s been a long time since he’s kissed me “just because.” Now, he only kisses me as part of a routine, like when he’s leaving the house. He doesn’t hug me the way he used to, seeking my touch. We’ve stopped making out altogether. He no longer takes photos of me or posts about me on his social media. I remember asking him once why he didn’t post about the surprise birthday getaway I planned for him. His response was that he didn’t want to make others jealous. During this pregnancy, not once has he told me I look pretty, even though he knows I’ve been struggling with my changing body. When I cry, he doesn’t comfort me anymore. His favorite songs right now seem to reflect longing and missing someone deeply, which only adds to my feelings of insecurity. For context, I caught him texting an ex-fling—someone I reluctantly agreed he could stay friends with after we moved to this new country. He said it was harmless, claiming he just enjoyed the attention. I felt deeply hurt because I’ve done everything I could to make him feel secure, confident, and loved. At this point, I’m too emotionally drained to care if he’s cheating again. I just needed to release these feelings. I want to tell him how I’m feeling—that I’m willing to let him go if he doesn’t love me anymore. But I know he won’t be honest with me. I feel stuck, especially with how close I am to giving birth. I know things will only get harder from here, and I don’t know what to do.

a month ago

First, I want to acknowledge how heavy and painful this situation must be for you. Pregnancy is already a vulnerable and emotional time, and adding these feelings of neglect and doubt makes it even harder.

Here are some steps you might consider taking:

1. Focus on Your Immediate Well-Being

Right now, your health—physical and emotional—should be the priority. You’re about to give birth, and stress can take a toll. Surround yourself with any support you have, whether it’s friends, family, or even online communities. If you don’t have a strong local support system, consider reaching out to a counselor or therapist for emotional guidance during this time.

2. Prepare for the Conversation

It sounds like you need to share your feelings with your husband, not to accuse or blame, but to express your emotional reality. Use “I” statements to avoid making the conversation confrontational. For example:

“I’ve been feeling distant from you lately, and it’s been weighing on me.”
“I want to understand where we stand because I feel like I’m the only one holding onto this relationship.”

3. Set Boundaries for Yourself

If you sense he won’t give you the honesty or love you deserve, start thinking about what’s next for you and your child. This doesn’t mean making drastic decisions immediately but beginning to mentally and emotionally prepare for the possibility of a future where you prioritize yourself and your baby.

4. Lean on Resources and Support

Consider reaching out to a local women’s support organization or a therapist. They can provide tools and advice on navigating relationship issues during this critical time.

5. Decide What You Truly Need

It’s clear you’ve poured your heart into this relationship, and you’ve done everything to support your husband. Now, it’s time to ask yourself: What do you need to feel valued and supported? Whether or not he changes his behavior, your needs matter and deserve to be met.

6. Take It One Step at a Time

With the baby arriving soon, your energy and focus will naturally shift. Allow yourself to process these emotions slowly and take steps toward clarity as you feel ready.

You deserve love, respect, and care. Whatever decision you make, trust that you’ll find a way forward—one that prioritizes your happiness and the well-being of your children.

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