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About two and a half months ago, I made the decision to quit drinking. I was a heavy beer drinker and noticed almost immediate weight loss, which motivated me to actively try to lose more. Since then, I’ve been working out and eating healthier, and I’ve lost about 30 lbs. The thing is, my wife has barely acknowledged my weight loss or the fact that I gave up alcohol, even though it wasn’t easy after years of heavy drinking. I’ve received compliments from friends and colleagues about my appearance, and those make me feel great and push me to keep going. I’m starting to think that maybe she’s feeling insecure about herself because she also has some weight to lose, and she’s mentioned that before. She suggested that we work out together, but our schedules don’t always match up. We have managed to go on a few hikes together, though. I feel a little silly asking for recognition, but it would be nice.

a month ago
45

First off, congratulations on the incredible progress you’ve made! Quitting drinking and losing weight are no small feats, and it’s awesome that you’ve been able to make such a positive change.

It’s understandable that you’re hoping for acknowledgment from your wife, especially since this was a big personal challenge for you. Often, people react to changes differently, especially when there might be their own insecurities at play. It sounds like your wife might be struggling with her own feelings about weight loss, and sometimes when people feel bad about themselves, they may not be as supportive or vocal as we might hope.

Here’s what you could consider:

1. Have an Open Conversation

  • Let her know how much this change has meant to you and how you’d appreciate some recognition or support. Make it clear that it’s not about bragging but rather about sharing your journey together.

2. Be Understanding

  • Acknowledge that she might be feeling insecure, and offer your support for her own journey if she’s open to it. Maybe focus on how you can both work together toward healthier habits.

3. Celebrate Your Wins

  • It’s great that friends and colleagues have noticed your progress. Use that positive reinforcement to stay motivated. You’re doing something amazing for yourself, and the external recognition is just the icing on the cake.

4. Find Ways to Connect

  • Since your schedules don’t always align, maybe find other ways to support each other. Even small things like meal planning or motivating each other to stick to workouts can create a bond around your health journeys.

It’s not silly to want recognition, and you deserve it! Keep focusing on your own health and growth, and hopefully, your wife will come around when she sees how serious you are about this positive change.

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