It sounds like you're experiencing a profound sense of frustration and isolation in your relationship, which is both understandable and painful. Feeling overlooked, especially by someone who is supposed to be your partner, can lead to feelings of irrelevance and loneliness. Let's explore this situation in more detail.

First, it's important to acknowledge your feelings. You mentioned that you feel invisible and irrelevant, and these emotions are valid. When you try to engage or support your partner, only to be disregarded, it can create a sense of disconnect. This is particularly true when the distraction comes from someone outside your relationship, which can amplify feelings of insecurity.

In your example, offering financial support is a significant gesture that speaks to your commitment to the relationship. When your husband chose to focus on a text message instead of your offer, it likely felt dismissive and hurtful. This behavior may indicate a pattern where he prioritizes external interactions over your needs. Consider the following points:

• Communication is Key: Have you had an open conversation with your husband about how his actions make you feel? It might help to express your feelings without placing blame. For example, you could say, "I feel overlooked when I'm trying to help, and I want to be part of our discussions." This approach encourages dialogue rather than defensiveness.
• Identify Patterns: Reflect on other instances where you felt sidelined. Is this a recurring theme? If he tends to prioritize others' needs over yours consistently, it might be indicative of a deeper issue in the relationship.
• Set Boundaries: If certain behaviors make you uncomfortable, it’s important to communicate those boundaries. For instance, if he frequently engages with coworkers during personal discussions, you might express that you’d prefer he focus on your conversation first.
• Seek Support: Sometimes, talking to a trusted friend or therapist can provide perspective. They can help you navigate your feelings and offer advice on how to approach the situation.

Additionally, it might be beneficial to explore the reasons behind his behavior. Is he overwhelmed with work? Is he unaware of how his actions affect you? Understanding his perspective can help foster empathy and lead to a constructive conversation.

Ultimately, a healthy relationship thrives on mutual respect and communication. If your husband truly values your partnership, he will likely be willing to listen and make adjustments to ensure you feel seen and heard. Remember, your feelings matter, and it's essential to advocate for your emotional well-being within the relationship.

Consider this an opportunity for growth, both for you individually and for your relationship as a whole. By addressing these concerns together, you can work towards a more supportive and fulfilling partnership.