Firstly, it’s heartwarming to hear about the deep connection you and your husband share. Your story is a beautiful reminder that love is not just a feeling but also a commitment that can help us navigate through life’s challenges. The notion that you’ve been “madly in love” for the duration of your relationship, despite the ups and downs, is a testament to the resilience of love.

Relationships often go through phases. As you mentioned, there are moments when it can feel as if the flame has dimmed, but recognizing that love is still present is crucial. For example, many couples experience a phenomenon known as the “honeymoon phase,” where everything feels perfect. As time goes on, reality sets in, and the relationship may face trials. But it’s during these times that couples can choose to either grow together or drift apart. Your perspective encourages couples to reflect on their bond and not lose sight of the love that initially brought them together.

One practical approach to nurturing that love during tough times is through open communication. For instance, regular check-ins with each other can help you both express feelings and concerns before they escalate into bigger issues. This can be as simple as having a weekly coffee date where you can discuss your week, share your thoughts, and connect emotionally. Research has shown that couples who communicate effectively report higher relationship satisfaction (Gottman, J. M. & Silver, N. (2015). The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work).

Moreover, it’s commendable that you emphasize the importance of recognizing when a relationship is unhealthy. The distinction you make about not advocating for staying in abusive relationships is vital. Love should never come at the cost of safety or well-being. If someone is in a situation where they feel trapped or unsafe, it’s crucial to seek help. Support from friends, family, or professionals can provide the necessary guidance to navigate such difficult situations.

Your encouragement to “push through the tough times” resonates with many. It’s essential to remember that love often requires effort and perseverance. For example, couples who actively work on their relationship by setting shared goals or engaging in activities together often find renewed passion and connection. This could be as simple as taking a class together, going on regular date nights, or even working on a home project. These shared experiences can reignite the spark and deepen the bond.

Ultimately, your message is one of hope and encouragement. Love, when nurtured and cared for, can indeed help us overcome the hurdles that life throws our way. It’s about choosing each other daily, recognizing the beauty in the mundane, and being willing to grow together. Thank you for sharing your journey—it's a reminder that love is a powerful force, and with commitment and communication, it can flourish even in challenging times.