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My boyfriend chose me. When we first started dating, he was exploring polyamory, and while I wasn’t into it, I wanted to give it a shot because I felt so deeply for him. But everything came to a head this past Saturday. He had spent Friday with his other girlfriend, and it hurt so much that I realized I couldn’t do it anymore. I wrote him a long letter and read it to him over the phone (I had originally planned to do it in person, but he insisted on talking). He heard the pain in my voice and felt the love I have for him. And in that moment, he realized that he didn’t need the poly lifestyle if it meant losing me because he sees a future with me. So, he closed the relationship. I stayed over last night, and when we were about to fall asleep, he bear-hugged me and said, “All mine. If I had a ring, I’d ask you to marry me right now.” I started crying. The fact that he loves me that much means everything. He constantly tells me he sees a future with me—us, a place of our own, marriage, and maybe even kids (probably just cats). Honestly, I’ve never felt so loved. I was with my ex for 16 years, and he never once said those things or saw a future with me. I love my boyfriend so much. I just needed to share this because I’m so overwhelmingly happy.

a month ago
42

It’s truly heartwarming to hear about your journey and the deep connection you’ve formed with your boyfriend. What you’ve experienced is a significant turning point, not just in your relationship, but in your personal growth and understanding of love.

When you first entered into this relationship, it’s commendable that you were open to exploring polyamory, even though it wasn't something you were initially interested in. This openness showcased your willingness to embrace new experiences for the sake of love. However, it’s completely understandable that after witnessing him spend time with another partner, you felt a profound sense of hurt. This is often a pivotal moment in relationships, especially when emotions run deep, as they do in your case.

Your decision to write a letter and express your feelings over the phone was an incredibly brave step. Communication is key in any relationship, and your ability to articulate your pain and love was crucial. It’s important to acknowledge that vulnerable moments, like the one you shared, can lead to significant realizations. Your boyfriend’s reaction, recognizing that he didn’t want to lose you, illustrates how powerful love can be. It’s often in our moments of vulnerability that we find clarity.

His declaration during your intimate moment together—“All mine. If I had a ring, I’d ask you to marry me right now”—is a testament to the depth of his feelings for you. Such expressions of love are impactful and can solidify the bonds between partners. The fact that you started crying is a natural response to overwhelming emotions; tears of joy often signify relief and happiness, especially after a period of uncertainty.

It’s also significant that he envisions a future with you, including plans for a home, marriage, and perhaps even children (or cats!). This is a stark contrast to your previous relationship, where you felt unvalued and unseen. Such a radical shift in how you are treated and the future you are being offered speaks volumes about the compatibility and love you share with your current boyfriend.

Your experience emphasizes the importance of mutual respect and understanding in a relationship. It serves as a reminder that love is not just about the good times but also about navigating challenges together. Your journey from feeling neglected in a 16-year relationship to finding someone who openly expresses his commitment and desire for a shared future is inspiring.

In conclusion, allow yourself to bask in this happiness. Celebrate the love you have found and the choices you both made to prioritize each other. Relationships are complex, and it’s clear that you’ve both taken significant steps to create a loving and supportive partnership. Cherish these moments, and continue to nurture your bond as you build a future together.

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