It’s clear that you are in a deeply emotional and reflective state regarding your marriage. It’s commendable that you recognize the significance of your wife’s feelings and the impact your actions may have had on her. Here are some thoughts and steps that may help you navigate through this challenging time:

1. Acknowledge Your Feelings:

First and foremost, it’s important to acknowledge your own feelings of regret and sadness. Reflecting on your past actions and their effects on your wife shows growth and an understanding of empathy. Consider journaling your thoughts to process these emotions. Writing can often provide clarity and help you articulate your feelings better.

2. Open Communication:

Communication is key in any relationship. If you haven’t already, try to have an open and honest conversation with your wife about how both of you are feeling. You might say something like, "I’ve been reflecting on our relationship and I see how my past actions may have hurt you. I want to understand your feelings better and work towards healing together." This approach shows her that you are willing to listen and learn.

3. Give Her Space:

While it’s essential to communicate, it’s equally important to respect her need for space. If she indicates that she needs time to process her feelings, allow her that time without pressuring her for immediate responses or resolutions. This can be challenging, but it’s crucial for her emotional wellbeing.

4. Self-Improvement:

Use this time to reflect on your own behaviors and consider what changes you can make. Engaging in self-improvement can demonstrate to your wife that you are committed to becoming a better partner. This might involve seeking therapy, reading self-help books, or developing new coping strategies for stress and conflict resolution. For example, books like "The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work" by John Gottman offer valuable insights into building a healthy relationship.

5. Be Patient:

Healing and rebuilding trust take time. It’s important to be patient with both yourself and your wife. Understand that she may have her own timeline for processing her feelings and figuring out what she wants moving forward. You might find it helpful to set small, achievable goals for your relationship, such as having a weekly check-in to discuss how both of you are feeling.

6. Seek Professional Help:

If you find it difficult to navigate these feelings alone, consider seeking the help of a marriage counselor. A professional can provide a neutral space for both of you to express your feelings and work through your issues. Couples therapy can be incredibly beneficial in helping partners reconnect and understand each other better.

7. Focus on the Positive:

Reflect on the positive experiences you’ve shared with your wife. Remind her of the joy and love you have both experienced together. Share memories that make you smile or activities you both enjoyed. This can help rekindle the bond that may feel strained right now.

8. Respect Her Decision:

Ultimately, if your wife decides that she needs to move on, it’s important to respect her decision, no matter how painful it may be for you. This respect can pave the way for healing, whether it leads to reconciliation or acceptance of the relationship’s end.

In conclusion, navigating this situation requires a delicate balance of self-reflection, communication, and patience. It’s a difficult journey, but with sincere effort and understanding, there is hope for healing and growth, whether together or apart.