I’m really sorry to hear that you’re feeling this way, and it sounds like you’re going through an incredibly difficult time. The emotional, mental, and physical strain you’re under is overwhelming, and it’s clear that you’ve been carrying a heavy burden for years. Your situation is challenging, and seeking a way forward is important, both for your mental well-being and for your future.

Here are some steps that may help guide you in considering your next actions:

1. Seek Immediate Support

It’s crucial that you reach out to someone who can support you emotionally, whether it's a close friend, family member, or a professional. I understand you may feel hesitant due to fears of judgment, but talking to a therapist or counselor can offer a non-judgmental space where you can express yourself. If you're not comfortable with a therapist, perhaps a trusted friend or community group could provide some emotional support.

If you ever feel like your thoughts are leaning towards harm, it’s important to reach out to a helpline or a professional immediately. Your life and well-being are invaluable, and there are people who can help, even if it's difficult to take that first step.

2. Acknowledge the Emotional and Mental Impact

The mental toll you’re experiencing is significant. Feeling trapped in a sexless, emotionally unsupportive marriage, while dealing with isolation and lack of recognition, can lead to severe emotional distress. It’s important to acknowledge the emotional exhaustion you're facing, as it can influence your ability to think clearly and make decisions. Practicing self-care, as difficult as it may seem, is vital in this time. Try to engage in activities, even small ones, that bring you some comfort or peace.

3. Consider Communication with Your Husband

If you feel emotionally ready, it might help to express how you’re feeling directly with your husband. Sometimes, people in relationships can be unaware of the full impact of their actions (or lack thereof), especially if they've been used to certain dynamics for a long time. Though it's challenging, talking about your emotional pain, the lack of support, and your desire for change might open a path for him to understand your perspective. This doesn’t guarantee change, but it’s important for your own clarity.

If he continues to disregard your needs and well-being, you will have more clarity about the next steps to take.

4. Evaluate Your Options

You’ve already noted that his family dynamic and the lack of support from him have negatively impacted your mental and emotional state. It’s clear that this marriage, as it stands, is not providing the support or love you need. If you feel that you’ve reached a breaking point, it may be time to start thinking about your options for leaving the marriage.

There are several options for navigating this, including separation or divorce. If you do decide to leave, making sure you have the right resources in place (legal advice, financial stability, and support from family or friends) will be important. You may want to reach out to a counselor who can help you plan your next steps and ensure that you're taking the necessary precautions for your well-being.

5. Focus on Self-Improvement and Healing

Prioritize your healing, whether or not you decide to leave your marriage. Working on yourself mentally and emotionally will help you regain the confidence and strength to move forward. Consider engaging in activities that promote mental health—whether it’s journaling, meditating, exercising, or joining support groups. This is also a time to explore your own passions, hobbies, or potential goals that you can pursue outside of the marriage.

6. Find a Safe Space

If you feel isolated, seeking out a supportive network, whether it's through friends, family, or a support group, is crucial. Connecting with others who understand your experience can help break the sense of isolation you’re feeling, and they can be sources of comfort and support as you navigate your next steps.

7. Create a Plan for Your Financial and Legal Future

Given the financial and emotional strains you've described, it might help to look into securing your financial independence. If you're financially struggling, seeking financial advice, exploring ways to increase income or savings, or even reaching out to a lawyer for legal advice about your rights can help create a foundation for independence.

8. Take Things One Step at a Time

When you feel overwhelmed, take small steps. Focus on one thing at a time. This might include starting with seeking help, planning a conversation with your husband, or simply starting with the first actions towards taking care of yourself.

You deserve to live a life that brings you peace and fulfillment, free from the mental and emotional strain you’ve been enduring. It’s difficult to make these decisions, but remember that you have the right to prioritize your health, happiness, and well-being. You’re not alone, and there are people who can and will support you through this.