It sounds like you really care about making her feel special on her birthday, and it's clear you're putting a lot of thought into how to make her day memorable. It's also understandable that you’re feeling hurt and unsure about how to proceed, especially after her response. Here are some thoughts on how to navigate the situation:

1. Respect Her Wishes and Mood

It seems like your wife might be in a different mindset right now, possibly feeling overwhelmed or not in the mood to celebrate. While you might be excited to celebrate, her emotional needs and state of mind should take priority. If she says she doesn’t feel like celebrating this week, it’s important to acknowledge that and give her space. Respecting her feelings will show her that you prioritize her comfort, even if it’s not exactly how you envisioned the day.

2. Reaffirm Your Support

Even if she doesn’t seem in the mood for a big celebration, it’s helpful to continue expressing your love and support. Let her know that it’s okay if she doesn’t want to do something extravagant this week, and that you’re flexible and willing to celebrate her when she’s ready. Reassure her that her happiness is what matters most to you.

3. Consider Her Interests and Needs

If she does want to spend some time with her friends, let her know that you understand and support her need to enjoy herself in that way. You can still show her how much you care by encouraging her to do what feels best for her. You’ve already planned a nice celebration with flowers, cake, and a thoughtful gift, so you can still surprise her with those things at a time that feels right for her.

4. Adjust the Celebration Plan

If she’s not in the mood for anything big, you could consider taking a more low-key approach for now, like maybe a quiet evening together or doing something that feels comforting to her. You don’t need to cancel your celebration plans entirely, but instead, try to adapt them based on what she needs. If she’s feeling low-key or wants a break from planning, letting her know that you’ll celebrate when she’s ready could take the pressure off.

5. Timing

Sometimes people feel overwhelmed by birthdays, especially if there’s pressure to make them special. By shifting the celebration to a later time, like next weekend when she might feel more ready to enjoy herself, you can avoid making the day feel like a source of stress for her. This way, you can still give her the celebration she deserves while respecting her emotional needs right now.

6. Maintain Open Communication

Keep the lines of communication open. Check in with her to see how she’s feeling and whether she wants to adjust the plan further. It’s about finding balance between what you want to give her and honoring how she’s feeling at the moment.

You’ve put so much thought into making her birthday special, and that in itself speaks volumes. Ultimately, your kindness and understanding will be what makes her feel loved, whether it’s today or next weekend.