First and foremost, I want to express my deep sympathy for what you are going through. Experiencing physical violence, even if it was unintentional, is incredibly traumatic, especially if you have a history of being in violent relationships. It’s completely understandable that you are feeling scared, confused, and unsure about the future.

When a partner has PTSD, it can complicate situations like the one you described. While your boyfriend did not mean to hurt you, the incident has understandably triggered fear and anxiety in you. Here are some steps and considerations that might help you navigate this difficult time:

1. Prioritize Your Safety

Your physical and emotional safety is paramount. If you feel unsafe around him, it’s important to take that feeling seriously. You might want to consider staying with a trusted friend or family member while you process your emotions and the situation. Having some physical distance can give you the space to think more clearly.

2. Seek Professional Help

Both you and your boyfriend may benefit from speaking to a mental health professional. For you, therapy can help you process the trauma of this incident and develop coping mechanisms for your fear and anxiety. For him, it’s crucial that he continues his therapy to address his PTSD and understand the impact of his actions.

3. Open Communication

If you feel safe doing so, consider having an open and honest conversation with him about the incident. Expressing your feelings and fears can be an important step in understanding each other’s perspectives. Use “I” statements to communicate how you feel. For example:

• I feel scared when I think about what happened.
• I need time to process this and figure out what I want.

4. Educate Yourself About PTSD

Understanding PTSD can help you empathize with his situation while also recognizing your own needs. Resources like the National Center for PTSD provide information on how PTSD affects behavior and how to cope with it.

5. Set Boundaries

It’s essential to establish clear boundaries moving forward. Let him know what you need to feel safe and what you are comfortable with. This might include limiting physical contact until you feel ready or discussing triggers that could escalate situations.

6. Consider the Relationship

Reflect on your relationship as a whole. Consider whether this incident is an isolated event or if there are patterns of behavior that concern you. If you decide to continue the relationship, think about what changes need to happen for you to feel safe and supported.

7. Take Your Time

Healing takes time, and it’s okay to not have all the answers right now. Give yourself grace as you navigate your feelings and the situation. Journaling your thoughts or talking to a trusted friend can help you process what you’re experiencing.

8. Emergency Resources

If you ever feel that he might hurt himself or if you feel in immediate danger, please reach out to emergency services or a crisis hotline. It’s crucial to have a safety plan in place.

In conclusion, remember that your feelings are valid. Taking the time to heal and reflect on your next steps is vital. Surround yourself with supportive people, and don’t hesitate to seek professional help. You deserve to feel safe and valued in any relationship.