It sounds like you're in a challenging situation, especially since you genuinely like this guy and want to progress your relationship. Here’s how to approach this sensitive topic while being honest and respectful.
1. Choose the Right Time and Medium
Since you’re in a long-distance relationship, it’s crucial to have this conversation when you both have time to talk without distractions. A video call might be more effective than texting, as it allows for a more personal connection and a better understanding of each other's emotions.
2. Be Honest and Direct
Start the conversation by expressing how much you enjoy your connection. You might say something like:
“Hey, I really enjoy our conversations and I’m excited about meeting you soon. I’ve been thinking a lot about our chats, and I wanted to share something that’s been on my mind.”
3. Use “I” Statements
To avoid sounding accusatory, use “I” statements to express how his flirting makes you feel. For example:
“I feel a bit uncomfortable with some of the things you say. I appreciate flirting, but I prefer a more mature approach. Sometimes it feels a bit too much like locker room talk, and it’s turning me off.”
4. Provide Specific Examples
Giving specific examples can help him understand your perspective better. You might say:
“For instance, when you said [insert one of the examples here], it made me feel uncomfortable because it felt more like a joke than something intimate.”
5. Suggest a Different Approach
After sharing your feelings, it’s helpful to guide him towards the kind of flirting you enjoy. You could say:
“I’d love to explore more flirty conversations that feel a bit more romantic and less like a joke. I think that would really help me feel more connected to you.”
6. Encourage Open Communication
Let him know that you want to hear his thoughts on this. You might say:
“I hope this doesn’t discourage you because I really like you. How do you feel about what I just shared?”
7. Be Prepared for His Reaction
He might be surprised, defensive, or understanding. Give him space to express his feelings, and be ready to listen. This will help strengthen your connection and show that you value his perspective.
8. Follow Up
After your conversation, check in with him a few days later to see how he feels about it. This shows that you care about his feelings and the relationship.
Remember, it’s important to be true to yourself and your feelings. Good communication can strengthen your bond and help you both move forward in a way that feels comfortable for both of you.
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