It sounds like you're in a challenging situation, and it's commendable that you want to address it constructively. Here are some steps you can take to work through the issues with your girlfriend:

1. **Understand Her Perspective**

Before approaching her, try to understand why she might be reacting so strongly. Sometimes, feelings of frustration or anger can stem from external pressures, stress, or personal insecurities. Being away from each other might also contribute to her emotional state. Consider having a conversation where you express your willingness to understand her feelings.

2. **Choose the Right Time and Place**

Timing is crucial. Try to choose a moment when she is calm and not in the middle of a game or an emotionally charged situation. You might say something like:

"Hey, I've noticed we've been having some misunderstandings lately. Can we talk about it when you have some time?"

3. **Use "I" Statements**

When discussing sensitive topics, it's helpful to use "I" statements to express how her actions affect you without sounding accusatory. For example:

"I feel really sad when we argue over small things because I care about you and our relationship."

This approach helps her understand your feelings without making her feel attacked.

4. **Acknowledge Her Feelings**

Make sure to validate her feelings during the conversation. You might say:

"I understand that you might feel overwhelmed or frustrated sometimes, and it's okay to feel that way."

This acknowledgment can help her feel heard and reduce her defensiveness.

5. **Set Boundaries**

It's important to express how her language and behavior make you feel. You could say:

"I really value our time together, but when you use curse words or say hurtful things, it makes me feel bad. Can we agree to communicate more kindly?"

Setting clear boundaries shows that you want to maintain a respectful dialogue.

6. **Encourage Open Communication**

Encourage her to share her feelings as well. Ask open-ended questions like:

"What do you think is causing these arguments? Is there something bothering you that you'd like to talk about?"

This can help her express her emotions, making it easier for both of you to understand the root of the conflicts.

7. **Consider Professional Help**

If the situation doesn't improve, it might be worthwhile to suggest couples therapy or counseling. You could frame it positively:

"I think talking to someone could really help us understand each other better and strengthen our relationship."

8. **Reflect on the Relationship**

After your discussions, take some time to reflect on the relationship. If the pattern of behavior continues, you may need to consider whether this relationship is healthy for you in the long term. It's important to prioritize your well-being.

9. **Be Patient**

Change takes time. Be patient with both yourself and her as you navigate these discussions. Recognize that it may take several conversations to reach a mutual understanding.

Conclusion

Relationships can be complicated, especially when emotions run high. By approaching the situation with empathy, clear communication, and a willingness to understand each other, you can work through these challenges together. Remember that it's essential to take care of your emotional health as well, so ensure that your needs are being met in the relationship.