It's understandable that you're feeling conflicted about your partner's weight gain and how to approach the topic without hurting his feelings. Open communication is vital in any relationship, but it's equally important to be sensitive to your partner's feelings. Here are some steps and tips to consider when discussing this delicate matter:

1. Reflect on Your Intentions

Before initiating the conversation, take a moment to reflect on your intentions. It's essential to ensure that your goal is not to criticize or shame him but rather to express your feelings and concerns. You might want to ask yourself:

• What do I hope to achieve from this conversation?
• Am I coming from a place of love and concern?
• How can I frame my feelings positively?

2. Choose the Right Time and Place

Timing and environment are crucial when discussing sensitive topics. Find a quiet, comfortable setting where both of you can talk openly without interruptions. Avoid bringing it up during stressful times or when he might be feeling self-conscious.

3. Use "I" Statements

When you start the conversation, use "I" statements to express your feelings rather than "you" statements that might sound accusatory. For example:

• Instead of: "You've gained so much weight."
• Try: "I've noticed some changes over time, and I want to talk about how we can support each other in our health journeys."

4. Express Your Love and Attraction

Make sure to emphasize that your feelings for him haven’t changed. You can say something like:

"I love you for who you are, and my attraction to you goes beyond looks. However, I also want us to be healthy together and support each other in that."

5. Encourage a Healthy Dialogue

Invite him to share his thoughts and feelings. This can help him feel more comfortable and less defensive. You might say:

"How have you been feeling about your health and fitness? Is there anything you’d like to talk about or change?"

6. Suggest Activities Together

Instead of focusing solely on weight, suggest engaging in healthier activities together that you can both enjoy. This can make it feel less like a criticism and more like a shared goal:

• Cooking healthy meals together.
• Going for walks or trying a new sport.
• Joining a fitness class together.

7. Be Prepared for His Reaction

Understand that he may react in various ways—he might feel hurt, defensive, or even relieved to have the conversation. Be patient and listen to his feelings. Validate his emotions by saying things like:

"I understand this might be tough to hear, and I want you to know I'm here for you no matter what."

8. Follow Up

After your conversation, it’s essential to check in with him. Make sure he knows that you’re there to support him and that your love is unconditional. You can say:

"I appreciate you talking with me about this. Let’s keep the conversation open and support each other moving forward."

Conclusion

Remember, the goal of this conversation is to strengthen your relationship and show your partner that you care about his well-being. Approach the topic with love, empathy, and understanding, and you can navigate this sensitive issue together.