It's clear that you're in a deeply challenging situation, and your feelings of frustration, numbness, and concern for your daughters are entirely valid. Here are some thoughts and insights that might help you navigate this difficult period in your life:

Recognizing the Signs

Many people who have been in similar situations often mention key signs that indicate it's time to consider leaving a relationship:

• Persistent Unhappiness: If you find that your emotional well-being is consistently compromised, and despite efforts to improve the situation, nothing changes, it might be a sign that the relationship is not healthy.
• Lack of Communication: Open dialogue is essential in a marriage. If your husband dismisses your feelings and avoids conversations about the relationship, it can lead to feelings of isolation.
• Manipulative Behavior: Threatening self-harm as a response to discussions about separation is a serious red flag. This behavior can be seen as emotional manipulation, which can be damaging to both you and your children.

Impact on Your Children

Children are incredibly perceptive and often pick up on the emotional climate of their home. Staying in a toxic environment can inadvertently teach them that such dynamics are acceptable. Consider the following:

• Role Modeling: By staying in a situation where you’re unhappy, you may inadvertently model unhealthy relationship behaviors for your daughters. Reflect on what kind of relationship dynamics you want them to learn.
• Emotional Health: Your emotional state directly affects your ability to parent effectively. A healthy, happy parent is better equipped to raise confident and emotionally stable children.

Seeking Support

It’s crucial to have a support system in place. Here are some options:

• Friends and Family: Share your feelings with trusted friends or family members who can offer support and perspective.
• Professional Help: Even if your husband won’t go to counseling, consider seeking individual therapy. A therapist can help you process your feelings, develop coping strategies, and explore your options.

Making the Decision

Ultimately, the decision to leave or stay is deeply personal. Here are some questions to consider:

• What do you envision for your future? Think about the life you want for yourself and your daughters. Does your current situation align with that vision?
• Are there any avenues left to pursue for change? Have you exhausted all possibilities for improvement, or is there still hope for reconciliation?
• What are the worst-case scenarios? Sometimes, imagining the worst-case scenario can help clarify your feelings and priorities.

Examples from Others

Many individuals who have faced similar dilemmas report a mix of emotions after making the decision to leave:

• Relief: Many found a sense of relief and newfound freedom after leaving an unhappy marriage, allowing them to rediscover themselves and focus on their children.
• Regret: Some expressed regret, not for leaving, but for the years spent in an unfulfilling relationship. They wished they had made the move sooner for their own sake and for their children.

Conclusion

It’s crucial to prioritize your emotional health and the well-being of your children. If you decide that leaving is the best option, ensure you have a plan in place, both logistically and emotionally. You deserve a fulfilling life and a positive environment for your daughters. Remember, seeking happiness is not selfish; it’s essential for a healthy future.

If you’re feeling overwhelmed, consider reaching out to a mental health professional who can provide guidance tailored to your specific situation. You are not alone in this journey.